Boners

Preview Boner Candidates December 1, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAPE YOUR DOGS MOUTH SHUT.

This is what happens when you post a photo to Facebook of your dog’s mouth duct-taped shut: You get charged with animal cruelty. Katharine F. Lemansky — known on Facebook as Katie Brown, among other things — has been charged with one count of misdemeanor animal cruelty, and faces a fine and up to 150 days in jail. Lemansky put up the grotesque picture of her dog on Friday, along with the caption, “This is what happens when you don’t shut up!!!”

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Boner Candidate #2: FOX JUMPS ON THE PLANNED PARENTHOOD SHOOTING IN AN OBVIOUS WAY

We’re talking about disarming our police. We’re talking about demilitarizing our police because it’s not right for them to have those kinds of things.

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Boner Candidate #3: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

When a U.S. Navy veteran traveled from Long Island to Florida for a knee replacement, his house was the last thing on his mind. But now his memory of it is all he can think about. Philip Williams’ home was demolished in the spring by town officials while he spent about six months recuperating from surgical complications in Fort Lauderdale. Back in New York, officials in the Town of Hempstead deemed his modest two-story home unfit for habitation and knocked it down.

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Boner Candidate #4: I DID IT BECAUSE I DIDN’T CARE.

A 44-year-old Ogden woman has an unusual way of bonding with her daughter — one that landed her with criminal charges after a night of widespread vandalism. Jennifer Terry was charged with class A misdemeanor causing a catastrophe in October. Police said she drove her daughter and several other minors around the city to throw eggs at homes and cars.

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Boner Candidate #5: TEACHING ASSISTANT BECAME VIOLENT WITH RELATIVE WHO DIDN’T WEAR HIJAB.

A Benghazi native who recently served as a teaching assistant at the University of Missouri was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of child abuse after police said he “very violently” pulled a 14-year-old female relative out of school by her hair because she wasn’t wearing a Muslim headscarf, the Columbia Tribune reported.

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