Boner Candidate #1: WHAT ARE YOU HIDING UNDER THERE?
Image By Francis Storr
A man suffering from Crohn’s disease was accused of shoplifting after a shop worker mistook his hidden colostomy bag for stolen clothes. Lee Winters-Jones suffers from Crohn’s disease and is forced to carry his colostomy bag underneath his jumper. He had been shopping in Next in Prestatyn, Wales, and noticed an assistant following him down the stairs. After leaving the story and continuing his shopping in Marks and Spencer, the Next assistant confronted him and accused him of stealing. Mr Winter-Jones, who has recently had a hernia operation, told Wales Online: “He just came up to me and said that he had a reason to believe that I had stolen some suit trousers.
Boner Candidate #2: STEALING FROM THE OLD LADIES
Image By Eileen Jones
Cottonwood Heights police are hunting for a thieving couple who specialize in victimizing elderly women while they shop for groceries. Police Detective Dan Morzelewski said that on July 30, the victims were intentionally bumped by a male suspect to distract them while he took wallets from their purses. Both thefts occurred at grocery stores, one in Cottonwood Heights and another in neighboring Murray. The victims’ credit cards were then used by the female accomplice to rack up more than $2,000 in charges at the Target, Home Depot and Game Stop businesses in Cottonwood Heights.
Boner Candidate #3: AND YOU’RE GONNA EAT THOSE STEAKS LATER?
Image By Tella Chen
A South Carolina man arrested yesterday for shoplifting ribeye steaks from a Food Lion smuggled meat out of the store in his colostomy bag, according to a police interview with the suspect’s girlfriend. Cops were called Tuesday afternoon to the Food Lion after employees reported that “an older white male” stole $75 worth of ribeye steaks. The workers said that the man drove away from the Roebuck store in a green Nissan (the license plate for which they copied down).
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