Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for January 4th, 2017

Wednesday Boner

Boner Candidate #1: IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR ACTING LIKE THOSE SLUTTY WESTERNERS.

News of a “mass molestation” surfaced swiftly in the Indian news media: Numerous women being groped, harassed and chased on the streets of Bangalore by an unruly crowd on New Year’s Eve. And almost as swiftly, the government official who is ultimately responsible for keeping order on those streets, the home minister of Karnataka State, said the women were to blame because of the way they looked and acted. “Youngsters were almost like Westerners,” said the official, G. Parameshwara, in a televised interview on Monday. “They tried to copy the Westerner, not only in their mind-set but even in their dressing. So some disturbance, some girls are harassed, these kind of things do happen.”

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Boner Candidate #2: INVESTIGATORS SAY, “MR. ROMANO HAD BEEN DRINKING.”

Meet Cody James Romano. The 25-year-old Wisconsin resident rang in the New Year by performing an exquisite belly flop atop the windshield of a police cruiser, as seen in the above dashcam footage. Romano, for some reason, charged the stationary squad car shortly after midnight Sunday. As he reached the vehicle’s front end, Romano launched himself into the air. Upon landing, Romano smashed the windshield of the cruiser (pictured below), which was occupied by a Menasha Police Department officer. After a scuffle with cops, Romano was taken into custody and transported to a local hospital for treatment. He was then booked into the county jail on multiple charges, including battery to a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct, and criminal damage to property.

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Boner Candidate #3: “I THINK WE’LL HAVE TO INVESTIGATE THIS ONE.”

“I am selling you an empty bag. Marijuana placed In that empty sandwich bag is simply a legal gift,” says a Massachusetts guy on Craigslist. Pot is now legal to possess in Massachusetts. It is not legal to sell it, but people are allowed to gift up to an ounce. An empty bag costs between $20 and $325, depending on the size of the free gift inside. Northwestern District Attorney David Sullivan said the guy is breaking the law. He told NEPR, “To say an empty baggie costs $350 is ridiculous,” he said. “I think it’s a clear fraud on its face.” Sullivan said he’ll ask police to investigate.

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