Boners

Boner Candidates for November 13 2015

Boner Candidate #1: THERE WAS NO WHERE ELSE TO GO, RIGHT?

A Scottish chief councillor who voted earlier this year to shut down all public toilets in his district of South Lanarkshire was fined by police Saturday morning for hmm guess whatpissing in the street. It’s a shame there were no public restrooms around for him to use. Councillor Jackie Burns jumped out of a taxi line to answer the call of nature, but immediate thereafter, he had to answer the call of a police offer, who was probably all “sorry mate, yae should hae made it tae the pisher in time.” “I was approached by police, who gave me a £40 fine which I have duly paid. I am embarrassed by the incident and have apologized,” Burns said, according to Yahoo News UK.

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Boner Candidate #2: YEAH SHE FELL INTO A CHOKE HOLD IN THE TUB. THAT’S IT.

On Wednesday afternoon, Deadspin published the transcript of a confidential hearing that took place last March between the NFL, NFL Players Association, Greg Hardy and his legal team — the hearing that led to the accused domestic abuser’s reinstatement to the league and the lucrative contract he signed just 14 days later. In this transcript, Hardy — who is said to have choked ex-girlfriend Nicole Holder, tossed her onto a pile of assault weapons and slammed her into a bathroom wall on May 12, 2014 — provided his version of what happened that night, with the help and spin of his attorney, Frank Maister. The entire transcript is alarming and offensive — Maister presents Holder as a “ranting and raving” woman, suicidal and desperate — and continually diverges from what others claimed to have happened on that May evening. But perhaps the most horrifying discrepancy between the stories is how Hardy’s team depicts the moment in his apartment bathroom.

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Boner Candidate #3: YOU’D BETTER GO HOME NOW

A teacher in Florida, was banned from the classroom after she showed students a nude reality television show. An official of the Collier County Public Schools, said that the teacher has been banned from school after showing the nude reality television show to 7-year-old children.
Hours after the substitute teacher, who was not identified, showed Naked and Afraid during a computer class, she was told to go home.
The incident is under investigation, and the teacher is prohibited from working in all schools in the district. The video was shown at the Golden Gate Elementary school. The principal of the school called the parents of all students to let them know about the incident. Some parents did not understand the problem with the television show until they were shown the naked actors. It is not known why the teacher showed the reality television show to the children.

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