Boners

Boner Candidates for November 20 2015

Boner Candidate #1: RABID DOGS RUNNING THROUGH YOU NEIGHBORHOOD

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson on Thursday used an extended metaphor about rabid dogs to discuss efforts to vet refugees fleeing the bloody civil war in Syria. While speaking at a campaign event in Mobile, Alabama, Carson compared the need to screen refugees before they enter the U.S. with the steps a community would take to protect children from rabid dogs. “If there is a rabid dog running around your neighborhood, you’re probably not going to assume something good about that dog. And you’re probably going to put your children out of the way,” Carson said. “Doesn’t mean that you hate all dogs, by any stretch of the imagination. But, you’re putting your intellect into motion and you’re thinking, how do I protect my children?” “By the same token, we have to have in place screening mechanisms that allow us to determine who the mad dogs are, quite frankly,” Carson continued. “Who are the people who want to come in here and hurt us and want to destroy us? Until we know how to do that, just like it would be foolish to put your child out into the neighborhood knowing that that was going on, it is foolish for us to accept people if we cannot have the appropriate type of screening.”

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Boner Candidate #2: LIKE WHEN THE NAZIS MADE THE JEWS REGISTER AND WHEN THE FEDS SHUT DOWN THE MORMON CHRUCHES AND…..

The new national spokeswoman for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump claimed this week that the Department of Justice investigated and closed down “Mormon churches” as she argued there is a precedent for the government to shutter mosques with terrorist ties. “This is no different than a Christian church, it’s not different than a Mormon church,” Trump’s new national spokeswoman Katrina Pierson told Fox News’ Megyn Kelly on Wednesday. “You’ve had the DOJ investigate Mormon churches and shut them down and Seventh-day Adventist churches.” While Pierson didn’t clarify what she meant when referencing “Mormon churches,” the Justice Department has investigated the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a breakaway sect of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The FLDS Church is not affiliated with the much larger and more widely known Salt Lake City-based LDS Church, sometimes called the Mormon church.

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Boner Candidate #3: JR. HIGH IN UTAH COUNTY? NOT REALLY READY FOR THIS.

Salem Junior High School parents became concerned when a first-year history teacher assigned their children to create a terrorism propaganda poster. According to Nebo School District spokeswoman Lana Hiskey, the assignment was not approved, and the teacher has since retracted the assignment. Hiskey said the teacher was trying to teach the students about how propaganda can be inappropriate while they were talking about the Middle East. The history teacher, who Hiskey said has a military background and is very patriotic, was very apologetic. If any parents have concerns, Hiskey said they are welcome to speak with the administration. “… We want to keep our kids safe,” Hiskey said. “We want them to understand the world that they live in and … keep them safe as well.”

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