Boners

Boner Candidate Preview August 16, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: IT’S FOR THE KIDS

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Boner Candidate #2: PERHAPS YOUR MUSIC CHOICE SHOWED A LACK OF JUDGEMENT

The Chicago Cubs have apologized after Aroldis Chapman’s appearance on the field was accompanied by The Prodigy’s single ‘Smack My B**** Up.’ Not only is the song – which has the line ‘Change my pitch up/Smack my b**** up’ – not suitable for families, it’s extra awkward when used to accompany Chapman.That’s because the relief pitcher served a 30-day suspension at the start of this season for allegedly choking his girlfriend, the New York Daily News reported.

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Boner Candidate #3: I WILL ROAST AMERICA

A German man set nearly 50 fires in a California arson spree because he wanted revenge for his mother’s deportation, a prosecutor told jurors Monday.Harry Burkhart inflicted ‘unspeakable devastation and terror,’ Los Angeles County prosecutor Sean Carney told jurors in his opening statement, City News Service reported. Burkhart, 29, had threatened to ‘roast America’ after his mother, Dorothee Burkhart, was ordered extradited to Germany to face fraud charges, prosecutors said.’

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Boner Candidate #4: BLACK OLIVES MATTER

An Italian restaurant in New Mexico, which made headlines last month, is drawing even more criticism on social media for making merchandise with a slogan mimicking the Black Lives Matter movement. Paisano’s in Albuquerque is selling ‘black olives matter’ shirts and hats after making national headlines for putting the phrase on a sign outside the restaurant in July, according to KOAT TV.Owner Rick Camuglia says he emblazoned the phrase on the restaurant’s main sign to sell a new recipe: a tuna dish with black olive tapenade.

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Boner Candidate #5: EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ONE IS WRONG

An Albuquerque family are suing a nightclub after a woman choked to death during a corn dog eating contest while drunk.Debra Harbeck, 56, was competing in the contest which required women to get on their knees in front of men holding corn dogs near their groins, according to the lawsuit.The winner was whoever could eat the corn dog the fastest.But the mother-of-one had choked on the corn dog during the competition and while bar patrons attempted to perform the Heimlich maneuver and CPR, she suffered irreparable brain damage while waiting for the paramedics.

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Boner Candidate #6: YEAH, I STOLE THAT BABY AWAY AND IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

JONESBORO, AR (KAIT) The woman at the center of an issue at NEA Baptist Memorial Hospital where a baby was taken from one room to another patient’s room said she didn’t think she did anything wrong. Latasha Harris said she believes she did the right thing by taking the baby.“If nobody else is going to do nothing, Tasha is going to step up to the plate and do something,” Harris said.Tasha Harris said she was admitted to the hospital for sickle cell anemia and when she heard a baby crying, she went to another patient’s room and checked on her.

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