Boners

Boner Candidates for March 11 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THE GUMBO MUST HAVE BEEN PRETTY BAD.

historical photo of a black man getting hanged was used as décor on a table at Joe’s Crab Shack in Roseville, Minn. After an offended patron posted it on social media, the restaurant released an apology. Restaurant-goer Tyrone Williams, of Minneapolis, wrote Wednesday on his Facebook: “This is on our table at Joe’s Crab shack in Roseville, MN it’s the lynching of two black men in Groesbeck, Texas in 1895 they we’re accused of robbing and murdering a white man with a rock it’s sad this is the image we have to look at in a Crab shack that has nothing to do with Texas it’s crazy how a brother can’t get a break me and Chauntyll Allen can’t get a break lol we just wanted some all you can eat Crab legs smh and now we got to go. We can’t take this anymore.” David Catalano, Chief Operating Officer of Ignite Restaurant Group, released a statement to Fox 9 on Thursday apologizing for the “unacceptable” photo — “We take this matter very seriously, and the photo in question was immediately removed. We sincerely apologize to our guests who were disturbed by the image and we look forward to continuing to serve the Roseville community.”

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Boner Candidate #2: NEXT TIME WE MIGHT HAVE TO KILL HIM

When Kashiya Nwanguma learned that Donald J. Trump would campaign in Louisville, Ky., where she is a student, she walked into a FedEx store and printed two colorful signs she had found online, depicting his head on a pig’s body. Then she steeled herself for what has become the most provocative and potentially dangerous recurring act committed by ordinary voters in the 2016 presidential cycle: protesting Mr. Trump inside one of his own rallies. The moment that Ms. Nwanguma, 21, who is black, held up her signs, Trump supporters ripped them away and began shoving her, screaming racial slurs and calling her “leftist scum,” she said in an interview. “Did I enjoy being treated like trash? No, not at all,” she said. At least she came away unharmed. The same could not be said for Rakeem Jones, 26, a protester who was punched in the face by a Trump supporter on Wednesday as law enforcement officers were leading him out of a campaign rally in Fayetteville, N.C. “He deserved it,” the assailant, John McGraw, told the television program “Inside Edition” after the confrontation, which was captured on video from several angles. “Next time, we might have to kill him.”

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT HE WAS FULL OF

Alec Ndiwane thought he was filled with the Holy Spirit when he decided to “challenge” lions at the Kruger National Park. The Zion Christian Church Prophet was at the park with his fellow church members when, according to GhanaWeb, he went into a trance and began speaking in tongues. The group approached the pride of lions while they munched happily on an antelope, but that’s when Ndiwane ran toward the lions. Out To Africa lists humans as the major predator to lions, so it’s no surprise that the lions took on the challenge. Once he realized what was happening, Ndiwane made an about-face and immediately ran away. Unfortunately, lions are fast and fierce animals and when one of the lions snapped her paws on him, Ndiwane sustained injuries to his buttocks. The ranger fired his gun into the air to scare the lions off and rushed the prophet to the hospital, where he underwent emergency surgery to ensure he didn’t lose most of his buttocks. “I do not know what came over me,” Ndiwane confessed. “I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth.” He was eventually stitched up and discharged after spending the night in hospital.

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