Boner Candidate #1: SOMETIMES IT HELPS TO BE A CITY COUNCILMAN
A West Jordan city councilman was only given a ticket on Tuesday even though police admit they should have arrested him on a more serious charge. KSL TV obtained exclusive footage from the bizarre incident that did not result in any arrests. South Jordan police responded to the call that involved West Jordan City Councilman Jeff Haaga on Tuesday night. “We got a report that (Haaga) was involved in a hit and run,” said Lt. Matt Pennington with the South Jordan Police Department. “He wasn’t on scene, he had returned home and so our officers responded over there.” Body camera footage shows officers questioning Haaga at his house for over an hour and without being prompted, Haaga said, “I did hit a car, I think I did.” He admitted to causing damage to his car and also told the officers he had been drinking at a nearby bar. “He appeared to be intoxicated. (Officers) could smell alcohol,” Pennington said. “There were other factors, him talking in circles, other indicators of intoxication.” From start to finish, Haaga’s confrontation with police was confusing. Haaga first told officers someone from the bar took him home.
Boner Candidate #2: LET’S ROLL SOME COAL,THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM
Conservatives who show their annoyance with liberals, Obama, and the EPA by blowing black smoke from their trucks. Forty-five second YouTube clips don’t come any more American than “Prius Repellent.” It starts with a camera angled from the passenger side window of a truck, pointed at the namesake Japanese hybrid car. After 12 establishing seconds, the cameraman moves and points out the back window, where viewers can read the ominous decals:
←PRIUS REPELLENT→
At 23 seconds, the engine revs and the viewer finally learns what the arrows were pointing at. Smoke pours out of dual stacks, right in the path of the Prius, which retreats into the rear view. The truck’s passengers share a well-earned chortle. “Prius Repellent” is a perfect introduction to one of the Obama era’s great conservative subcultures: the men and women who “roll coal.” For as little as $500, anyone with a diesel truck and a dream can install a smoke stack and the equipment that lets a driver “trick the engine” into needing more fuel. The result is a burst of black smoke that doubles as a political or cultural statement—a protest against the EPA, a ritual shaming of hybrid “rice burners,” and a stellar source of truck memes.
Boner Candidate #3: IT WAS THE SCHOOL’S FAULT
A substitute teacher accused of having sex with a student is blaming education officials for her illegal indiscretions — claiming they failed to stop her, and “allowed” the relationship to blossom. In a series of interviews with reporters in Iowa, 24-year-old Mary Beth Haglin admitted to having sex with a 17-year-old boy for much of the 2015-16 academic year — and accused Cedar Rapids Community School District of complicity. “These people all knew what was going on, and yet they turned a blind eye because they wanted to protect their school. They didn’t want it to get into the limelight,” Haglin told KGAN-TV, saying she first had sex with the boy last October. “They allowed this to happen. They knew in February.” Haglin, a sub at George Washington HS, was arrested on Friday and booked for sexual exploitation of a minor. She faces up to two years behind bars and having to register as a sex offender for 10 years.
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