Boners

Boner Candidates for December 3, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: DAD, I NEED YOU TO PASS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE NOW.

A Volusia County man is accused of trying to electrocute his father after finding out he was the sole beneficiary of the man’s will. In a news release, Ormond Beach police said Monday that 81-year-old John Knudsen told them his 44-year-old son, also named John Knudsen, held two black wires to his chest early Thanksgiving morning. Police said the older man passed out briefly but sneaked out of the house when his son left the room. The two initially argued Nov. 22 after the son was told to get a job, police said. The son faces charges of attempted first-degree murder and aggravated assault on an elderly disabled person. Jail records don’t indicate whether he’s hired an attorney to contact for comment on the case.

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Boner Candidate #2: I NEEDED A WAY TO THE JAIL

Police arrested a man after he stole a truck- so he could pick up his girlfriend from jail. Miguel Redshirt drove the truck into the parking lot of the Tempe Police Department and was quickly nabbed by an officer with license plate-reading cameras in his squad car. Noting the irony of the situation, Tempe Police documented the arrest with a Facebook post, featuring a picture of the stolen truck with the caption: “Chivalry: Picking up your girlfriend from jail in a stolen truck.”

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Boner Candidate #3: NO BIG DEAL. I MEAN SHE LOVES THE SKATEBOARD.

It had been a difficult week for Rosa Perez and her family. A special wheelchair that had belonged to Perez’s four-year-old daughter was stolen from their front yard over the weekend. The Santa Ana, California mom admitted that the theft had been a real blow. Her daughter, who was born without legs, relied on the motorized chair to get around. And her family said they had no idea how they would afford to buy her another. “I still can’t believe someone would do that,” Perez told the OC Register a few days after the incident. “We have a lot of difficulties already and especially with [my daughter’s] care, so when [the theft] happened, I was so angry.” On Thanksgiving Day, however, the story of the stolen wheelchair took a happier turn when an “angel” reportedly swept in to alleviate the family’s worries. According to NBC4, a woman named Joyce Brandman — who first heard about the stolen wheelchair via a local news report — gave Perez and her family a $10,000 check on Thursday to cover the cost of a new chair.

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