Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for December 4, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: HE WHO HESITATES AT WALMART IS FIRED.

Last month, Michael Walsh, a Wal-Mart maintenance worker of 18 years, was fired. He’d found $350 in cash in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in Niskayuna, the Albany Times Union reports, and returned it after about 30 minutes. Walsh, a full-time employee, was terminated for “gross misconduct.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: THERE HE IS…PRESIDENT TRUMP

At a campaign stop in Manassas, Va., Wednesday night, Donald Trump looked more like a rock star than a GOP presidential candidate while signing a woman’s breast after his speech.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: HE WAS WAILIN’ ON HER.

No criminal charges will be filed against a former California Highway Patrol officer who punched a bipolar woman as she walked on a busy Los Angeles freeway, prosecutors said Thursday. The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office said in a statement that Officer Daniel Andrew acted within the law by resorting to force to stop Marlene Pinnock from entering traffic.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: WHO LOVES THE NRA?

Investigators now believe that what initially seemed a workplace shooting in San Bernardino, Calif., was a well-planned attack by a married couple with at least some contact with Islamic extremists. The evolving situation has forced Republican leaders and presidential candidates to contort themselves: talking tough on terrorism, yet ignoring the fact that the two were armed to the teeth with two .223-caliber assault rifles and two 9-millimeter semiautomatic pistols, and hundreds of rounds, all purchased legally.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE THIEF?

Police have arrested a Missouri man with very distinctive face tattoos after he allegedly tried to steal the truck of a pastor who had given him a lift. Robert Michael, 31, was charged with attempted robbery after repeatedly trying to take keys from the unidentified preacher who took him 20 miles from Oak Grove to Independence, outside Kansas City.

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