Boners

Boner Candidates for February 05 2016

Boner Candidate #1: A BULLET IS CHEAPER

An animal shelter in an Oklahoma town that has euthanized dogs by shooting them is under intense criticism by residents, and the mayor said on Thursday the practice is rare but would be stopped while the shelter is investigated. Residents of Bristow, a town of about 4,200 people southwest of Tulsa, have accused the animal shelter of fatally shooting at least three dogs in the past week and have petitioned the mayor to end the practice. “We are not going to shoot dogs anymore and we will try to work with local vets to help us,” Bristow Mayor Leonard Washington said. “Shooting dogs is not a common practice, and this was a rare situation.” Oklahoma law requires that animals be euthanized in a humane fashion, but does not define “humane.” For cities under 10,000 people, the law allows for “any humane method” to euthanize shelter animals. Washington told local media that shooting the animals was legal. He said an animal control officer decided whether to take an animal to a vet for euthanasia or use a gun to end its life. “The city and the animal control officer have an excess of euthanasia solutions on hand to use, but the animal control officer chooses to use a bullet over the solutions because … ‘it’s cheaper,’” said resident Beth Roberts, who is fighting state laws that allow animal control officers to euthanize strays with guns. According to the Central Oklahoma Humane Society, the most accepted form of humane euthanasia is by injection, but many rural communities lack resources when dealing with stray animals. “We are a proponent of humane methods, and shooting would not be something we endorse,” said Sue Della Maddalena, president and chief executive of the Central Oklahoma Humane Society.

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Boner Candidate #2: THERE’S A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR THESE PEOPLE

Police say a Connecticut man shaved his head and took weight loss pills to convince people he had stage 3 brain cancer and collect thousands in donations. Tyler Tomer, of Wallingford, was charged Wednesday with first-degree larceny and first-degree larceny by defrauding a public community. Police say an investigation started in May after they received complaints that a man claiming to have cancer was collecting donations at benefits in his honor. Police say there have been multiple benefits for the 29-year-old Tomer in Connecticut and Kansas. They say medical records determined he was never diagnosed with cancer. Tomer allegedly accepted at least $22,000. He is being held on $250,000 bond and is due in court Feb. 17. It’s not clear if he has an attorney who can comment on the charges.

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Boner Candidate #3: CREEPY

WHENEVER you ship your belongings across the country you expect that everything will arrive safely and in tact. You don’t expect items to go missing or to get damaged but if they do, well, you deal with it. That wasn’t the case for one freaked-out Alaska Car Transport customer. Sam Owens, who lives in Alaska, decided that she wanted to drive to Nevada so she organised for her car to be shipped to Seattle via the transport company. Everything appeared to have gone smoothly, until she reached Portland. It was there that the university graduate opened up her make-up bag that had been stored in the car while it was being shipped and claimed to have found this creepy note. “I took your condoms… used them with a lady co-worker (smiley face). Would love to tell you about it.” The author then signs off with this email address. A shocked Ms Owens shared the discovery on Facebook claiming the company refused her a refund and was also told it had a right to look through her items to “ensure you’re not lying about what’s in your car”. She also claims she now fears for her life because “an obviously very creepy man” knows her address.

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