BONER CANDIDATE #2: I GUESS WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS A BONER CANDIDATE AGAIN
Firefighters in California are issuing a warning to arachnophobes — if you’re going to kill spiders, don’t do it with fire — after one man used a blowtorch to take out the “eight-legged freaks.” Around 11 p.m. Tuesday, the Fresno Fire Department responded to a fire at a home in northeast Fresno, KFSN-TV reported. The fire was lit by a man who was house-sitting at his parents’ home. Fire officials said he used a blowtorch to kill black widow spiders — among the world’s deadliest arachnids. The blaze damaged the second floor and attic, according to the news outlet. Twenty-nine firefighters were ultimately able to extinguish the flames. “Please don’t use a blowtorch to kill spiders,” the department pleaded in a Facebook post.
Toronto’s Pearson Airport has an important message for would-be stem-pickers: The weed there is not up for grabs. Last week, Canada legalized recreational cannabis, becoming the second country in the world to formally do so. While cannabis is legal within Canada, however, it is illegal to transport it across the country’s borders. To address this, Pearson Airport set up some handy disposal bins for anyone who showed up for an international flight with their stash. On Tuesday, an image of one of the bins blew up on Reddit with the caption “Pearson International installed a ‘free weed’ bin :).” Greater Toronto Airport Authority spokesperson Robin Smith was happy to set the record straight. “‘Free weed’ is resoundingly incorrect, and I think that’s putting it mildly,” Smith told Gizmodo over email. “Once something goes into the container, it doesn’t come out.” According to Smith, the airport now has three cannabis disposal bins at security checkpoint entrances, similar to “items that other Canadian airports are installing.” These bins are monitored by security contractors and emptied by a disposal service, thus passengers cannot remove anything from them. Smith said that the current bins are a temporary measure until more secure containers can be installed.
BONER CANDIDATE #1: LISTEN DR. PHIL…JUST BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PUT THEM ON TV
Dr. Phil invited a 16-year-old black girl onto his show this week who insists she is white — even going so far as to say that she’s “completely and utterly” better than black people. “I just know that I am white. I can feel it through my veins,” the teen claimed during her intro. “When it comes to black people, I think they’re all ugly — and I have nothing in common with them,” she said. “I’ll never be like any of those n—oes.” Identified only by her first name, Treasure, the young girl made a slew of racist statements about her “supposed race” during Wednesday’s episode, which caused an uproar on social media. “This is the true definition of self hate,” wrote one Twitter user, who was retweeted more than 1,300 times. “Where does Dr. Phil find these people,” another said. Many viewers felt Treasure was putting on a performance for the cameras, but her mother, Monique, told Dr. Phil that she “truly believes she is white.” “My daughter is a racist against her own race,” she said, claiming the teen is “consumed with the Ku Klux Klan.”
BONER CANDIDATE #2: IF YOU’RE ARMED TO THE TEETH DRIVE SOBER
A stockpile of weapons, including loaded handguns and a semi-automatic rifle, was found in the back of a truck after Florida police found the driver passed out behind the wheel. David Goldammer, 32, was arrested after officers found him unconscious in his pickup with the engine running and parked in front of an alley in Miami Beach around 1 a.m. ET on Thursday. Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and Goldammer almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. Two open beer bottles were found in the truck, as well as two loaded handguns. He also had a gun in the waistband of his pants, police said. Officers ordered Goldammer to perform a field sobriety test, but he refused and was taken into custody. A search of his vehicle turned up two more loaded handguns, a semi-automatic rifle, a pocketknife with a swastika on it, a bullet-resistant vest and a large amount of ammunition. Police have not said why Goldammer, from South Dakota, had the stockpile in his car or what he was doing in the area. “What’s alarming in this case is that it’s the early morning hours, it’s Thursday morning, and there’s a man asleep at the wheel under the influence of an alcoholic beverage with an arsenal of weapons in his possession,” police spokesman Ernesto Rodriguez told NBC affiliate WTVJ.
BONER CANDIDATE #3: . ‘Republicans just don’t do this kind of thing’
Conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh on Wednesday questioned who was responsible for the explosive devices and suspicious packages sent to Democratic figures, including former President Obama and Bill and Hillary Clinton reverses decision, takes down Milo Yiannopoulos post about mail bombs Authorities find suspicious package at Time Warner Center in NYC for second straight day McCaskill, Hawley point fingers in civility debate. “Republicans just don’t do this kind of thing,” Limbaugh claimed during his radio show. “Even though every event, like mass shootings, remember, every mass shooting there is, the Democrats in the media try to make everybody think right off the bat that some tea partier did it, or some talk radio fan did it, or some Fox News viewer did it. Turns out, it’s never, ever the case,” Limbaugh added, without evidence. Limbaugh added that none of the bombs went off before suggesting, also without evidence, that a “Democrat operative” was attempting to create the appearance that there “are mobs everywhere.” The conservative commentator later said he would not let the reports of the bomb threats distract him from stories such as the migrant caravan traveling toward the U.S.-Mexico border and what he called the “declining blue wave” as the midterm elections near.