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Boner Candidates for April 21

Boner Candidate #1: THE STOMACH PUNCHING PUTS THIS ONE OVER THE TOP

A former Ogden School District teacher has admitted to sexually abusing a female student. Justin James Davenport, 35, was charged last year in 2nd District Court with two counts of first-degree felony rape, four charges of first-degree felony sodomy and one count of second-degree felony forcible sexual abuse. Davenport this week pleaded guilty to the forcible sexual abuse charge and all other counts were dismissed as part of a plea deal. The crime is punishable by up to 15 years in prison, but prosecutors have agreed to recommend one year in jail as part of a 36-month probation. According to charging documents, Davenport had sexual contact with one of his female students at Highland Junior High School during a relationship that lasted from January 2013 through November 2013. During a November 2015 preliminary hearing, the now-18-year-old victim testified that the relationship began with a kiss in February 2013, prosecutor Ben Willoughby told The Tribune, with sexual contact beginning a week later. The inappropriate contact took place in the portable classroom where Davenport taught geography, prosecutors said.

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Boner Candidate #2:  I PROMISE. I’LL DRINK IT AT HOME. REALLY.

Gov. Rick Snyder of Michigan, facing persistent criticism of his handling of the water crisis in Flint, on Monday took home five jugs of filtered tap water from the city and said he planned to drink it and cook with it for at least the next month. Mr. Snyder said he would restock on Flint water during regular trips to the city, which is reeling from elevated levels of lead and other contaminants after a state-approved switch of drinking water sources in 2014. He said he hoped his decision to drink tap water would “alleviate some of the skepticism and mistrust” that has left many residents scared to drink or even shower. “Flint residents made it clear that they would like to see me personally drink the water, so today I am fulfilling that request,” Mr. Snyder said in a statement. Mr. Snyder, a Republican, is following a familiar playbook for elected officials seeking to make a point. Gov. Hugh L. Carey of New York once offered to drink a glass of PCBs amid concern about pollution in Hudson River water. Mayor Jane M. Byrne of Chicago briefly moved into the Cabrini-Green public housing project in the 1980s during a wave of gun violence there. And more recently,according to The Denver Post, Gov. John Hickenlooper of Colorado boasted in 2013 of having once ingested fracking fluid as he argued for state regulation of natural gas production. For his foray into experiential politics, Mr. Snyder picked up his first batch of filtered Flint water on Monday from a home where tests of untreated water once far exceeded the federal action for lead.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S ABOUT TIME THEY GOT RID OF CURT

ESPN analyst Curt Schilling’s racist and homophobic ways have cost the former All-Star pitcher his job. On Monday, just one month after ESPN announced it would allow Schilling to return as an analyst on Monday Night Baseball this season after he was suspended for a disturbing comment on Twitter comparing Muslims to Nazis, the former Boston Red Sox pitcher took to social media to mock the transgender community. The sports network parted ways with Schilling on Wednesday. “ESPN is an inclusive company,” the network said in a statement. “Curt Schilling has been advised that his conduct was unacceptable and his employment with ESPN has been terminated.”

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