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Boner Candidates for April 29, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: LIGHT SKINNED…GOOD ON YA!

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Image By lil’_wiz

An Australian TV host has apologized for an on-air comment she made last month about a biracial teen’s fair complexion. Twins Lucy and Maria Aylmer from Gloucester, U.K., first made headlines in March when the gorgeous sisters were photographed by World Wide Features. The teens, whose father is Caucasian and mother is “half-Jamaican,” are twins, but their physical appearances are very different: Lucy has fair skin and red hair, while Maria has caramel skin and dark hair. In March, the girls sat down for an interview on Australia’s “Sunrise” with hosts Samantha Armytage and David Koch. Armytage’s introduction struck viewers. “The Aylmer twins come from a mixed-race family in the U.K.,” she said. “Maria has taken after her half-Jamaican mum with dark skin, brown eyes and curly, dark hair, but Lucy got her dad’s fair skin — good on her! — along with straight red hair and blue eyes.” The host was accused of racism and backlash ensued, with a Change.org petition demanding an apology.

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Boner Candidate #2: SPEAK ENGLISH, CAN’T YA?

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Image By Paul Sableman

In what may be the most misguided protest in a country full of controversial protesting, this guy, who may or may not be someone’s dad, got up and started yelling, “English Only! USA!” during a kindergarten concert. The concert was being announced in Spanish because it’s a bilingual town and as many of those children were Spanish speakers as English.

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Boner Candidate #3: I AM NOT GAY. I NEVER HAVE BEEN GAY.

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Image By Isaac Sanchez

If prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, the world’s second oldest profession must be male politician with an anti-gay voting record who enjoys the dicks of men. Ladies and gentlemen, meet North Dakota House of Representatives member Randy Boehning (R). The 52-year-old lawmaker got caught with his dick out by a 21-year-old named Dustin Smith, who chatted with Boehning on Grindr in March. During their interaction, Boehning sent Smith an unsolicited picture of his penis. Smith then approached The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead newspaper. On the app, Boehning went by “Top man!” and when asked if he was horny, he replied, “Always lol.”

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Feature Image By Isaac Sanchez


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