Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for December 12, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: I GUESS THERE IS A CERTAIN TRAGIC AND POETIC JUSTICE TO THIS ONE

A man has been stabbed to death at a party remembering the life of a man who was killed in a knife attack a day earlier. The man, aged 38, was found with stab wounds to his chest in Sneinton in Nottingham in the early hours of this morning. It came just a day after his friend Martin Maughan, 27, was found with a stab wound in Sneinton at just after 6am on Saturday.  He also later died from his injuries. It is understood the two victims were friends, and the second was having a party to celebrate the life of his pal when he was stabbed.

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Boner Candidate #2: MAKE SURE THAT STIFF IS CLEAN BEFORE THEY PICK IT UP.

Staff at a Veterans Affairs hospital in the Tampa Bay, Florida area left a body in a shower for nine hours after a veteran died and proper pickup procedures to the morgue weren’t followed. The Tampa Bay Times on Sunday reported that an internal investigation concluded that staff at the Bay Pines VA Healthcare System failed to provide appropriate post-mortem care to the veteran’s body. The investigative report said that leaving the body unattended for so long increased the chance of decomposition. The unnamed veteran died in February after spending time in hospice care. The hospital’s Administrative Investigation Board ordered retraining for staff. Hospital spokesman Jason Dangel said hospital officials view what happened as unacceptable but have implemented changes to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

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Boner Candidate #3: I FIGURE IF IT WORKS ON ME IT WILL WORK ON THE BABY.

A Virginia woman has been charged with child abuse after authorities say she tried to calm a 3-month-old baby by administering the opiate methadone. The Manassas City Police Department said Friday that the baby was admitted to a local hospital on Dec. 3 in respiratory distress. Tests showed the infant was under the influence of methadone, which is used for controlling opioid addiction. Police spokeswoman Adrienne Helms tells the Washington Post an investigation revealed 31-year-old Jessica F. Nicholson orally administered the drug in an attempt to calm the baby. Police didn’t say if Nicholson and the child, who is expected to recover, were related.

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