Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for December 2, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE WHO’S THE BEST, GRANDMA

The shooting left a 55-year-old woman with a gunshot wound to her neck, Dallas police said. A child custody swap between two grandmothers led to a shootout outside of a Dallas Walmart that left one woman wounded, authorities said. The two women met to transfer custody of their mutual grandchild around 5:30 p.m. Sunday. An ensuing argument turned violent, Dallas police said. Janice Brown, 53, allegedly pulled out a gun and shot Carla Hawkins, 55, in her neck, leaving her with injuries that were not life-threatening, police said in a statement.

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Boner Candidate #2: ALL OF THESE THREATS SEEM TO BE COMING FROM YOUR ADDRESS

We shouldn’t have to tell you this: Don’t use Facebook to frame your ex-lover for a crime. A woman in Southern California learned this lesson the hard way after she created a phony Facebook profile of her ex-boyfriend to frame him for stalking, kidnapping, and beating her. Stephani Renae Lawson of Orange County, California, 25, pled guilty to two felonies—one count of false imprisonment and one count of perjury. She was sentenced to one year in prison. Lawson had been living with her boyfriend (at his grandparent’s house) for ten months prior to the whole ordeal. She was eventually kicked out for beating up her boyfriend, according to the Orange County Register. That’s when the real trouble started.

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Boner Candidate #3: SACRIFICING THE GOAT WILL NOT BE QUITE ENOUGH

A spiritual healer tricked a woman into having sex with him to solve her marriage problems — and then made her pay $7,500. Syed Shah conned the 28-year-old mom into believing he could “purify” her relationship. Shah, 30, from Birmingham, England, this week was found guilty of two charges of rape and one of fraud following a trial at Birmingham Crown Court. Judge Patrick Thomas QC jailed him for 12 years — after it was revealed he had sexually assaulted another woman while performing a healing ritual.

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