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Boner Candidates for March 16, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: SORRY YOU SIGNED THE LEASE

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Image By Adrian Clark

A Cedar Rapids man said he’s stuck in an apartment that smells like a dead body. That’s because the cause was a dead body. Around two weeks ago, Shamrock Apartments tenant Ramon Rojas noticed a foul smell in his unit and couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. He opened windows, tried to air things out, even got a carpet cleaning from his property manager. Nothing was working. “The smell was so bad,” said Rojas. “I couldn’t even eat here. I was trying to eat outside. When eating here, I’d feel like throwing up.” Authorities said the smell was the decaying body of a 57-year-old woman who died of natural causes in the unit below. The medical examiner believed the body had been there for 10 to 14 days. The corpse was found and removed on the 11th.

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Boner Candidate #2: I JUST COULDN’T HELP MYSELF

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Image By Boston Public Library

It’s said that one should never return to the scene of the crime, but one New Jersey criminal didn’t get the memo. According to a post from NJ.com, Christopher Miller not only robbed the same store 15 years later, he also accosted the same store clerk. Miller pleaded guilty Monday to robbing a Stride Rite store in Toms River, New Jersey, the same store he robbed in 1999 that resulted in a 15-year sentence, the NJ.com post said.

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Boner Candidate #3: TRYING TO HIDE THE EVIDENCE

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Image By Bernhard Schwarz

Glendale police have arrested Jason Matthew Bristol after they say he smuggled his 2-day-old daughter out of Banner Thunderbird Medical Center. The girl was born with traces of morphine, marijuana, and methamphetamine in her system, police say. She was brought to the hospital after being born at home. Police say the parents concocted a scheme to kidnap the baby before the state could take her away from them. Surveillance video shows Bristol calmly walking down the hallway with a shopping bag. There’s no audio, but the hospital says maternity-ward alarms, designed to go off when someone takes a baby, were blaring. Police say Bristol’s daughter was in the plastic bag with a blanket over her face.

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Feature Image By Brent Weichsel

 


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