Boners

Boner Candidates for November 18th, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: WE CAN BE JUST AS AWFUL AS THE FRATERNITES

A noise complaint led to the arrest of seven University of Albany students for hazing, police said. Police said they arrived at an off-campus sorority house and found four young women being forced to eat mud and garbage. Sorority members were also accused of pour fowl smelling liquids onto the women.

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Boner Candidate #2: BREAKING POINT OR NOT, THESE WORDS SHOULDN’T COME OUT.

A Baltimore public-school teacher is no longer employed after a cellphone video showed her berating minority students with “abusive” language that included a racial slur, the school district said on Thursday. The teacher, who was not named in the statement from the Baltimore City Public Schools, was recorded on Tuesday disciplining a student in her middle-school science class at Harlem Park Elementary/Middle School. After she ejected the student from the room, she turned to the other students who remained, raised her voice and said she was going to give them all zeros for not doing their work. The teacher, who is white, then called the students “idiots” and asked them if they wanted to get an education or to be a “punk ass … who is gonna get shot,” using a common racial slur. On Thursday, the school authorities said in the statement that the teacher had “engaged in verbally abusive behavior and made racially charged comments directed at students. The teacher involved in the incident is no longer employed by city schools.”

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Boner Candidate #3: ALL RIGHT, THEN. BUT HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL BE MISSIN’.

After having his sexual advances rejected by a woman nearly 50 years his junior, a 78-year-old Texas man dropped trou and mooned the object of his desire,according to cops who arrested the septuagenarian for obscenity. Police say that Robert Scott approached the 29-year-old woman Saturday afternoon outside a DoubleTree hotel in Kenner, Louisiana. Scott, seen at right, told the woman that she was attractive. “You look like a model, we should go out. I can treat you real well,” Scott told the woman, according to police. “No thank you, I have a boyfriend,” the woman replied. Scott did not handle the rejection well. Police allege that Scott unfastened his buckle and dropped his pants and underwear to the ground, introducing the victim to his not-so-super moon. “Okay, I’ll get out of your face,” said Scott, who allegedly exposed “his anus, buttocks, and part of his genitals” to the victim.

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