Boner Candidate #1: DUDE. WE’RE TURTLE SURFIN!
These bros “surfing” a turtle on Australia’s Fraser Island could be in quite some trouble, after a picture of the act was shared on Facebook in attempt to find them. It shows the two men, with cans of beer in hand, standing on the animal. “Surfed a tortoise on zee weekend.. gnarly duddddeeeee,” the photo’s caption reads.
Boner Candidate #2: AH HE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND
An Old Bridge High School teacher who discussed stripping and prostitution with female students in a photography darkroom last year will get to keep his job, an arbitrator ruled last month. The Old Bridge administration had sought to fire tenured teacher Thomas C. Strassle following allegations, later deemed unfounded, that he offered a female student money in exchange for sex and had sexual contact with her. Those charges were previously dismissed because there was no “competent and reliable evidence,” to support them, arbitrator Melissa Biren wrote in her decision.
Boner Candidate #3: TIE SOME POPSICLE STICKS ON IT. THAT WILL KEEP IT STRAIGHT.
Mangling a man’s penis during a botched illegal surgery will cost a Hialeah woman 40 months behind bars. Nery Carvajal Gonzalez, 39, pleaded guilty on Wednesday for her role in two ill-fated penis enhancement procedures that took place inside a Hialeah warehouse in 2014 and 2015. The plea deal is the latest criminal case involving botched cosmetic surgeries in South Florida, a hub for sham doctors who offer cheap cosmetic procedures performed in homes, warehouses and faux clinics.
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