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Boner Candidates for October 2, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: HOW ABOUT FINDING A PSYCHOLOGIST THAT CAN HELP YOU GET BETTER?

A North Carolina woman says she is happier than ever after fulfilling her lifelong wish of becoming blind. Jewel Shuping, 30, has Body Integrity Identity Disorder, which is a condition where able-bodied people believe they are meant to be disabled, according to Barcroft TV. Shuping said that her fascination with blindness began when she was about 6 years old. “By the time I was six I remember that thinking about being blind made me feel comfortable,” she told Barcroft TV. As a teen Shuping said she began wearing thick, black sunglasses and walking with a cane. By the age of 20, she was even fluent in braille. “I was ‘blind-simming’, which is pretending to be blind, but the idea kept coming up in my head and by the time I was 21 it was a non-stop alarm that was going off,” Shuping told Barcroft TV.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE GREAT HACKER

An internet prankster booked to talk about Edward Snowden on a US news channel instead spent the entire interview referring to Edward Scissorhands, with the anchor seemingly oblivious. Comedian Jon Hendren was booked by US channel HLN to talk about Snowden’s decision to join Twitter, but took the opportunity to raise the plight of the character played by Johnny Depp character in Tim Burton’s 1990 film. “Jon, Twitter shut down Isis’s account. Why do you think Snowden is any different?” host Yasmin Vossoughian asked. “He’s been isolated for so long,” said Hendren. “We should listen to what he says. “To say that he couldn’t harm somebody with what he did, he could, absolutely, he could,” he continued. “But to cast him out, to make him invalid in society simply because he has scissors for hands, I mean, that’s strange. People didn’t get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and whatnot.”

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Boner Candidate #3: LET THE LITTLE HOMO SUE

Tennessee public official has taken to Facebook on Monday to make some troubling remarks about a gay high school student who was not allowed to bring his date to a school dance and the LGBT community in general, Towleroad reports. Lance Sanderson, an 18-year-old student at Christian Brothers High School in Memphis, wanted to bring a same-sex date to the school’s homecoming dance but school officials wouldn’t let him do so. He took his plight to social media and launched a petition in hopes of changing their minds, all to no avail. As a result of his efforts, he was suspended this week because administrators said he brought the school unwanted media attention. Clark Plunk, a Lakeland commissioner, went after Sanderson on Facebook while deriding the LGBT community as a whole. Follow the link to read his post, typos and all.

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