Boners

Boner Candidates for October 28, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: MAYBE WE SHOULD CHARTER A PLANE AND SEND HANNITY BACK TO IRELAND

This week, Sean Hannity extended a rather unusual offer to President Obama. If Donald Trump wins the White House, Hannity will be willing to charter a private plane to send the Obama family on a one-way trip anywhere in the world — like, say, Kenya or Indonesia.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT WOULD BE BEST IF YOU STAYED OUT OF THE MEDIA

Sen. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) is one of the most vulnerable incumbents this election, and he probably didn’t help his chances to retain his seat in his debate Thursday night with his Democratic challenger, Rep. Tammy Duckworth. Kirk had been pretty low-key in their first debate, but he was decidedly more feisty on Thursday night, accusing Duckworth of lying about a workplace discrimination lawsuit and calling her record of serving veterans “very questionable.” His biggest hit, however, was also his loudest thud.

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Boner Candidate #3: I ASKED HER; I SAID, “MA’AM WHY ARE YOU NOT DRESSED WHILE DRIVING?”

A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student taking a topless selfie while driving slammed into the rear of a stopped police car and was arrested, police said on Thursday. The student, Miranda Rader, also had an open bottle of wine in a cup holder next to her, the Bryan Police Department said. The accident on Wednesday, near the university about 100 miles northwest of Houston, caused the airbag to deploy. Police said that when the officer whose car had been hit approached Rader, she was trying to put on her blouse.

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