Boners

Boner Candidates for October 31st, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: HALLOWEEN FUN!

A Christian haunted house intended to take place in an elementary school has been shut down amid outcry that it planned to recreate real-life massacres for entertainment, including the shooting at the gay Orlando nightclub, Pulse. Guests of “The Room: A Journey To Hell” on Chicago’s South Side were promised “in your face scenes of dark reality,” according to an online ad for the twisted fun house.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHY DIDN’T THE BLACK WISCONSIN FANS IN THE STADIUM RISE UP AND….OH WAIT. I’M LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THE CROWD AND WELL, I DON’T THINK THERE ARE ANY BLACK WISCONSIN FANS.

Wisconsin is hosting Nebraska in Madison on Saturday night. In the stands at Camp Randall Stadium, one fan dressed in a Donald Trump mask, and that fan’s companion dressed in two masks: one for Hillary Clinton, one for President Obama. The fan in the Trump mask appears to have depicted himself lynching his partner in the Obama and Clinton masks.

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Boner Candidate #3: ACADEMIA PLEASE LOVE ME BACK

A Bronx Latina wants to teach her professor a lesson. Tiffany Martinez says in a blog posting that she was publicly humiliated when her sociology professor at Suffolk University in Boston accused her of plagiarizing her sociology essay simply because she used the transition word “hence.” She said the professor rudely tossed the paper back to her in front of the class, saying loudly, “This is not your language.”

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