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Boner Candidates for Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Boner Candidate #1 I WAS LEBRON JAMES BEFORE LEBRON JAMES

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Image by Jeff Kern

Let’s not get it twisted: There’s only one LeBron James. He’s the only player who can single-handedly carry his team to the brink of a championship, travel a whole bunch and get away with it and receive comparisons to Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan — an exercise in NBA historical thought that still seems to sell LeBron’s talents short. Chicago Bulls Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen, however, doesn’t see Magic or Michael in LeBron’s game. And thinks someone else should be added to that conversation.

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Boner Candidate #2 I DID SOMETHING BAD

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Image by Gul Seiz

After dialing 911, Reginald Kindle reportedly told the operator he had “done something bad.” Asked what he had done, the 52-year-old said, “I killed my girlfriend,” according to the Broward Sheriff’s Office. He went on to say that he had choked her to death.

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Boner Candidate #3 PLEASE PIZZA MAN…I NEED TO SEE BOTH YOUR HANDS

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Image by Guian Bolisay

A Lexington, Ky., Pizza Hut employee has reportedly been fired after a teenage drive-thru customer snapped a photo of him with his hand down his pants. The photo got a lot of attention on Facebook and Reddit, and the teen girl’s mom has alleged that our erstwhile pizza boy was “playing with himself.”

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