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Boner Candidates for Wednesday , June 10, 2015

Boner Candidate #1:UNWED MOTHERS SHOULD BE TAUGHT A LESSON

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Image By Joseph Francis

Jeb Bush thinks that unwed mothers should be publicly shamed for exercising their personal agency and making the choice to raise a child outside the confines of church-sanctioned monogamy- or at least, that’s what his 1995 book, Profiles In Character, says quite clearly.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S ALL PART OF THE PLAN

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Image By John Pemble

At first, one was the loneliest number for Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum on Monday. Just one Iowan showed up at 2 p.m. campaign stop Monday at a restaurant in the unincorporated community of Hamlin, population 300, according to a report from The Des Moines Register — Peggy Toft, an insurance agent who chairs the county’s Republican Party.

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Boner Candidate #3: GOD KILLED YOUR HITLER BABY

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Image By Amanda Slater

When Pat Robertson can still surprise you with insanely horrible things that come out of his mouth, at least that’s some evidence that you’re not totally jaded yet. There is still a little scintilla of innocence left inside of your dark, cavernous soul that still finds the energy to say, “Wait, what?” I’ll let the latest video of Pat Robertson mumbling and drooling some nonsense out of his mouth be that piece of evidence.

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