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Boner Candidates October 13th, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: YOU DIDN’T TELL US IT WAS THAT KIND OF FILM

The naughty schoolgirl fantasy got a little too real when one LA-area high school accidentally allowed a porno to shoot on campus. Scenes from the 2012 adult film “Revenge of the Petites” were filmed at Alexander Hamilton High School in Los Angeles, according to an NBC4 investigation into Hollywood filming in area public schools. The outlet reported that the film’s producers paid cash in order to film at Alexander Hamilton on two Saturdays in October 2011. The footage included a nude carwash scene in the front parking lot of the school.

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Boner Candidate #2: MOUSE AND POTBELLY DON’T CARE ABOUT THE KID

Police in Italy have arrested two people on suspicion of murdering three-year-old Nicola ‘Coco’ Campolongo in the killing that sent shockwaves through the country. The toddler, who was being used as a human shield by his grandfather, was shot in the head in the town of Cassano allo Ionio. He was murdered along with his grandfather and his grandfather’s Moroccan girlfriend in an apparent mafia assassination linked to drug-dealing territory. Coco’s body was found strapped in a car seat in a burnt out Fiat Punto in January 2014 in a case that stunned Italy.

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Boner Candidate #3: ALLO? HELP! SHNELL!

A would-be burglar in Bonn called the police on himself in the early hours of Saturday – after getting locked inside the house he was trying to loot. The 43-year-old tried to rob a family home in the west German town of Bonn, police said in a press release. Having failed to break open the front door, the man clambered over a garden gate and entered the house through a set of patio doors, police reported. During his raid he grabbed a Notebook and mobile phone, as well as some snacks for the journey home. Not content with this haul, he then made for the storeroom. But when he got there the doors slammed shut behind him – and due to a fault, could not be opened from inside. After desperate attempts to free himself, the man finally called the police to come to his aid. Officers rescued the sheepish burglar from the storeroom, before arresting him. The man is already known to police in connection with past burglaries.

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