Boners

Boner Fight for April 11th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: SENATOR…..WE RUN ADS.

In what will probably be the premise of The Social Network 2, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was grilled by members of the U.S. Senate on Tuesday. Zuckerberg answered questions about digital privacy in the wake of the Cambridge Analytica scandal. And a lot of the senators asking the questions were old. Very old. Sen. Patrick Leahy brought printouts of various Facebook groups (bless the staff member who had to print them) and asked if they were Russian propaganda groups, because as CEO, Zuckerberg obviously reads every single post on Facebook himself. Sen. Orrin Hatch asked how Facebook is able to sustain a business model while running as a free service, and Zuckerberg was barely able to keep a straight face when he responded, “Senator, we run ads.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I AM A BOORISH DRUNK STONER AND I PLAY ONE ON TV

There’s no app to get him out of this mess. Former “Silicon Valley” star T.J. Miller got so mad when a woman rebuffed his drunken flirting on an Amtrak train that he made a bogus 911 call saying she had a bomb in her bag, federal authorities said on Tuesday. Miller’s alleged prank prompted a massive police response, caused hours of delays and landed him in federal custody Monday on charges that carry up to five years in prison. The drama started almost as soon as Miller (inset), 36, got onto Amtrak train No. 2258 in Washington, DC, on March 18. A worker on the train said he looked tipsy as he took his seat in first class and continued to drink — downing two glasses of wine and two double scotch and sodas, the feds said. He flirted with a female passenger who rebuffed his “social overture” by glaring at him, court papers say.

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