Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for April 3rd, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: FEELING LIKE THE END IS NIGH? JUST TAKE ONE OF THESE

A prescription pill bottle used as a handout accompanying a church lesson, reportedly making light of suicide, is resulting in public outcry. A social media post by a congregation member who received the pill bottle shows the label prescribing “anti-boo-hoo-tics” — a play on the word “antibiotic.” It goes on to advise calling 1-800-PRAYER if feeling alone, full of doubt or if a person is afraid. That bottle was handed out Sunday at an Orem singles’ ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, following a discussion about suicide prevention, the stake president of the LDS ward confirmed. One of the people who saw the post online was Chalon Stark. She re-posted it with the proper suicide prevention numbers and links attached. It’s a topic that hits too close to home for her, having lost her own dad to suicide in 2003. She’s outraged that anyone would hand out something like this, suggesting instead that whomever is teaching about suicide prevention should in fact get educated themselves before imparting that knowledge. We tried to get to the bottom of the whole thing on Monday. The original poster declined to comment for this story. The bishop of the ward hung up on us, twice.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE MANLY TUCKER CARLSON

Fox News host Tucker Carlson tore into MSNBC host Chris Hayes on Monday for hosting a town hall on the Green New Deal with Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y. Carlson said Hayes is taking orders from “moron” Ocasio-Cortez. “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a moron and nasty and more self-righteous than any televangelist who ever preached a sermon on cable access,” Carlson said on his show which competes directly in prime time with Hayes’ show. Carlson prefaced his comment on Ocasio-Cortez’s intelligence by attacking Hayes. “Chris Hayes is what every man would be if feminists ever achieved absolute power in this country: apologetic, bespectacled and deeply, deeply concerned about global warming and the patriarchal systems that cause it,” he said. “All we have to do is obey her and be very, very good people,” added Carlson in regards to what he said was Hayes’ view of the freshman representative.

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