Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for December 7th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: LIKE ZIMMERMAN, I WAS STANDING MY GROUND.

A tennis instructor in Florida busted for child abuse after hitting a 5-year-old boy with a racket wants charges against him dismissed under the state’s Stand Your Ground self-defense law. Osmailer Torres, of Miami, was charged with third-degree child abuse in August 2016 after police said he took the boy’s child-sized racket and struck him with it while at a playground at a church in Miami. Surveillance video obtained by the Miami Herald shows Torres, 30, whacking the boy and then leading him away from other children, leaving him with injuries to his right arm and his eyebrow. But in a motion seeking statutory immunity from prosecution, an attorney for Torres claims his client was simply protecting his other students at the time. “Immediately prior to the alleged incident, Mr. Torres had to separate the child from other pupils to avoid further injuries to those other students,” attorney Eduardo Pereira wrote in the motion. “When Mr. Torres separated the alleged victim (as captured on CCTV), the alleged victim returned with his racquet in the air and was poised to strike again against the other students and Mr. Torres.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I HAVE THE CURE FOR AIDS.

Minister Steven Anderson from Faithful Word Baptist Church Facebook America’s most homophobic preacher exhortation to Americans to kill all LGBTQ people is making the rounds again. Steven Anderson’s hatred may have gotten him arrested in Botswana and banned from South Africa, but his freedom of speech allows him to spew his vitriol in America. In the sermon, Anderson tells his flock that God demands all LGBT people be put to death and encourages them to do “as the Lord commands” by Christmas. The church uploaded the sermon online. “Turn to Leviticus 20:13,” he says in the video, “because I actually discovered the cure for AIDS.”

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