Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for July 12th, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I WAS PACKING BECAUSE THOSE OTTERS CAN BE PRETTY AGGRESSIVE

Draper Police will ask the Salt Lake County District Attorney to review the case of a woman who left a loaded handgun in a bathroom at the Loveland Living Planet Aquarium. Tuesday afternoon, a woman found the gun in a bathroom stall. “The circumstances and that children could be at further risk, we decided it would be more appropriate to at least have the District Attorney’s Office to at least, look at the case,” Draper Police Sgt. Scott Adams said. Police tell FOX 13, the woman who owns the gun has identified herself, and she has a valid concealed carry permit.  Police will maintain possession of the gun as evidence until the D.A. decides whether to pursue charges. A mother who was at the aquarium, was headed to the restroom when another woman alerted her to the gun. “I looked behind her and I saw it there perched on the ledge,” Crystal Mundt said. She was spending the day at the aquarium with her two young children and hopes a message is sent to people who decide to carry guns.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: PAPA IS NO LONGER IN THE HOUSE

According to a report from Forbes, the owner of the Papa John’s pizza empire, John Schnatter, rankled a group of marketing executives when he used the n-word during a May conference call. Forbes reports that the call was set up for Schnatter to speak with execs from a marketing agency called Laundry Service, who were attempting to help Schnatter navigate the PR crisis he’d created when he stupidly blamed his company’s declining profits on the fact that a few NFL players had decided to stage peaceful protests at games. It appears that the call went off the rails and led to Laundry Services severing its relationship with Schnatter. On the May call, Schnatter was asked how he would distance himself from racist groups online. He responded by downplaying the significance of his NFL statement. “Colonel Sanders called blacks n——-s,” Schnatter allegedly said, before complaining that Sanders never faced public backlash.

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