Boners

Boner Fight for July 30th, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: HE WAS WASTING OUR MONEY ON SOMETHING HE COULD GET FOR FREE.

An Arkansas woman was arrested Saturday after telling police she shot and killed her husband because he bought pornography, officials said. The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office said in a news release it received a call around 2:30 p.m. from 69-year-old Patricia Hill, who told dispatchers she just shot her 65-year-old husband, Frank. When police arrived at the home, located about 36 miles south of Little Rock, they found Frank Hill dead in a shed on the property. Hill sustained two gunshot wounds to the upper and lower body, according to police. The sheriff’s office said that during an interview with Hill, she told investigators she arrived home and went to the shed on her property to confront her husband, but there had never been any physical altercations between the couple.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: WHEN YOU FIND OUT WHERE I WORK YOU WON’T ARREST ME.

Police in Maryland say a man who was being detained told officers he worked at Krispy Kreme and would give them doughnuts if they would let him go. Sgt. Jonathan Shatlock tells The Frederick News-Post 25-year-old Matthew Tyler Rosenberg and another man were spotted Thursday by an officer who suspected they were peering into vehicles for anything worth stealing. Charging documents state the officer ordered them to stop, but Rosenberg began walking away. They say a struggle ensued and an officer kneed Rosenberg in the abdomen before he was subdued. Authorities say a search of Rosenberg yielded an air pistol and marijuana. It was then that Rosenberg began offering officers doughnuts. Rosenberg faces charges including resisting arrest. It’s unclear if he has a lawyer. The other man wasn’t charged.

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