Boners

Boner Fight for July 9th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: AS YOUR ATTORNEY, I’M ADVISING AGAINST THIS.

A Hawaii man who painted his face black with a marker for his sentencing hearing has been ordered to serve life in prison. A judge sentenced Mark Char Monday to a mandatory life prison term with possible parole for attempted murder, news organizations reported. Honolulu Circuit Court Judge Todd Eddins also sentenced the 60-year-old to five years in prison for second-degree assault and one year for third-degree assault. Attorney Keith Shigetomi, who withdrew as Char’s defense lawyer after the hearing, said it was Char’s choice to appear with his face and head blackened. Char continued talking and laughing after he told Eddins that he was done with his pre-sentencing statement. A state jury found Char guilty in March of stabbing three people in a road rage incident on a freeway in August 2016. Char repeatedly braked in front of Jesther Marlang’s car before they both pulled onto a median. Char reversed and crashed into Marlang’s car, police said. Char then used pepper spray against Marlang and his passenger, Deion Anunciacion, and stabbed them. During the struggle Char bit and nearly severed two of Marlang’s fingers, authorities said. He also stabbed a passing motorist, Jene Winn, who tried to stop the confrontation, police said. Char claimed he acted in self-defense and called his trial a kangaroo court. “You’re a menace to the public,” the judge said. “This is not a kangaroo court; you got a fair trial.”

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Boner Candidate #2: APPALLING IS PUTTING IT MILDLY

At a golf tournament hosted by a Pennsylvania county’s chamber of commerce, four golfers reportedly dressed up as U.S. Border Patrol agents, while their caddy played the part of an undocumented immigrant driving a cart decorated as the U.S. Mexico border wall. A photo posted by the Meadville-Western Crawford County Chamber of Commerce of the golfers received immediate backlash online, where community members have called the costumes “offensive,” “appalling,” and “despicable.” “This was a completely appalling show of racism and lack of any human compassion by ‘professionals’ in our community,” commented one Facebook user. The golfers in the now-deleted photo were participating in a fiesta-themed women’s golf tournament on June 26, held for members of the local chamber of commerce. And it was members of the group sponsored by the Meadville Medical Center who allegedly won a costume contest by wearing matching T-shirts and hats that read “border patrol.” “Shame on you Chamber, shame on you! You gave this group an AWARD!!!! Pathetic,” one community member commented on Facebook. The local NAACP Meadville and Crawford county President, Drake Parker, tells Yahoo Lifestyle that he was “outraged” and “disappointed” when he saw the “offensive” costumes chosen by his local fellow business owners. “That was a flat-out statement or insult to everyone of Hispanic heritage by saying that you all are illegal aliens or trying to jump the border,” Parker tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Whether it was meant to be funny or make a statement, it doesn’t matter — it was was a bad move, and a dumb move.” One online user slammed the team for having the caddy dressed up as an immigrant and wearing handcuffs, though that detail has remained unconfirmed.

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