Boners

Boner Fight for June 19th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1:  MAYBE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?

Two students have been indefinitely suspended from the Kearns High football team for a social media post showing a Pride flag being burned and threatening LGBTQ people. A player posted a video on Snapchat last week where someone lights an LGBTQ Pride flag on fire and laughs. Someone in the video is heard saying “all gays die.” Granite School District officials are determining the proper punishment, which could include community service or school suspension for the student who posted the video and another who reposted it. “There’s no place for that in our program at all, and it won’t be tolerated,” said Matt Rickards, the team’s head coach. “It’s potentially a hate crime, so it sickens me.” The video is considered cyberbullying and a safe school violation. “We want to make sure every student who walks through our doors feels safe and secure in the environment that they’re in,” said district spokesman Ben Horsley. “Whether it was done intentionally with a threat in mind or for humor’s sake, it’s inappropriate. And we’re going to address it in a very serious fashion.”

Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS A SET UP!

Lawyers for the right-wing conspiracy theorist accidentally sent child porn to the plaintiffs. In a court filing Monday, lawyers representing Sandy Hook parents in a suit against Infowars’ Alex Jones say the conspiracy theorist’s defense team sent them “numerous images of illegal child pornography,” apparently by mistake. The images were buried in a large volume of email documents the court ordered Jones’ team to turn over in late May ― an order they followed through on by turning over the files in a non-searchable format. A third party hired by the Sandy Hook lawyers to sort and organize the documents into a digitally searchable database discovered an image during that process. “It is worth noting that if the Jones Defendants had engaged in even minimal due diligence and actually reviewed the materials before production, they would have found the images themselves,” the motion filed Monday reads. “Because the Jones Defendants did not do that, they transmitted images to the plaintiffs that if they were knowingly possessed is a serious federal crime.” “I’m not into kids like your Democratic party, you cocksuckers,” he shouted at one point. “I don’t like having sex with children, I would never have sex with children.” “I am so sick of their filth and living off the dead kids of Sandy Hook,” he said.

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