Boners

Boner Fight for June 20th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: HAVE IT YOUR WAY COMRAD

An official social media account for Burger King in Russia posted a promotion this morning promising a reward of 3 million Rubles ($47,000) and a lifetime supply of Whoppers for any Russian woman who got pregnant with the child of a World Cup player. Burger King Russia, which has a history of dumb (but not as gross) stunts like this, has since deleted the post, and apologized for the promotion on Russian social media site VK. The post roughly translates to: Burger King, within the framework of social responsibility, has appointed a reward for girls who get pregnant from the stars of world football. Each will receive 3 million rubles, and a lifelong supply of Whoppers. For these girls, it will be possible to get the best football genes, and will lay down the success of the Russian national team on several generations ahead. Forward! We believe in you!

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Boner Candidate #2: CEASER OR WALDORF?

A 12-year-old boy from Halifax, Nova Scotia, was so unhappy when his parents served him up a leafy dinner last week that he made his displeasure known — by calling 911. When the cops did not respond to his emergency in a timely fashion, he called again, just to reiterate how much he hates crunching on a bowl of raw, tossed vegetables. As CBC News reports, the Canadian police did eventually arrive at his door. They did not, however, intervene on the quality and substance of the family’s dinner. Rather, they used the unexpected house call as an opportunity to educate the boy about the appropriate uses of 911.

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