Boners

Boner Fight for March 28th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: BRING BACK THE SOUL OF THE COUNTRY.

Put on your Sunday clothes because an Arizona lawmaker wants to make church mandatory. The legislature’s debate to expand a gun owner’s right to carry took a pious turn when state Sen. Sylvia Allen, R-Snowflake, suggested the real problem behind gun violence was corrupted souls. “It is the soul that is corrupt and how we get back to a moral rebirth in this country, I don’t know,” Allen told the state’s appropriations committee on Tuesday. But the Republican detailed a solution that she believed would keep people feeling safe without the need to carry a gun. No matter how much it would violate the Constitution seperation of church and state, Allen said she wanted a law requiring citizens to go to church.

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Boner Candidate #2: SAME FOR MEN WHO HAVE VASECTOMYS? PROSTATE SURGERY?

Indiana Gov. Eric Holcomb signed a new law that will require medical providers who treat women for complications arising from abortions to report detailed patient information to the state. The Republican governor signed the measure without fanfare Sunday, shortly before leaving the country for a multi-day trade mission to Canada. Supporters said the law, which takes full effect in July, will ensure abortions are provided safely in the state. But opponents argued that it’s overly burdensome and will further stigmatize abortion, which has lower complication rates than many other standard procedures. Previous state efforts to restrict abortions in Indiana have been challenged in court in recent years, some of which have been blocked from taking effect.

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