Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for May 17th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: PERHAPS HER BURGER ARRIVED AT THE TABLE COLD.

A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left. There is no pixelation in this sped-up LiveLeak video. You are going to see everything that this woman, full of rage and previously turds, does to forever sully the floor of this Tim Hortons located in Langley, British Columbia: What’s particularly baffling, aside from the obvious, is the other customers who don’t really react to what’s happening. Maybe that’s because the tasteful barrier has censored most of it, or maybe it’s because there’s really nothing to do when a human decides to take a spiteful shit and fling it.

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Boner Candidate #2: THING IS, HE WASN’T REALLY A GOOD PLAYER.

A 25-year-old man lived a double life as a teenager for nine months — even dating a 14-year-old — just so he could play high school basketball again, school officials said. Sidney Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley claimed to be a Hurricane Harvey refugee in August when he enrolled as a freshman under the name Rashun Richardson at Skyline High School in Dallas. He later transferred to Hillcrest High School, where he joined the basketball team and dominated younger players en route to being named the district’s offensive player of the year, the Dallas Morning News reports. “He took that as an opportunity to gain access to our schools,” Dallas Independent School District spokeswoman Robyn Harris told the newspaper. “He was fairly savvy to be able to utilize that type of position, knowing that we were accepting Harvey students.” Gilstrap-Portley fully immersed himself in the high school scene, going so far as to date a 14-year-old classmate, according to the girl’s mother.

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