Boners

Boner Fight for May 8th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: DESTROYING ANCIENT HISTORY IS FUN!

As Josh Hansen untied his patrol boat, he could hear the splashes. He wasn’t sure how many there were before he got to the dock, but at least two heavy thunks sounded off the water while he started the engine. About 500 yards away and a few minutes’ distance from where he was, someone was throwing heavy slabs of stone over a cliff and into the reservoir below. Hansen raced for the opposite shoreline. When he pulled in, a kid was about to toss another rock but paused. On the surface of the dusty red sandstone that he was holding were two toe imprints from a partial dinosaur track. “I saved that one,” Hansen recounted Thursday. The park manager regrets that he couldn’t get there sooner. “He had already thrown multiple [tracks in the water].”

Boner Candidate #2: IT’S JUST RIDICULOUS.

Sen. John McCain’s (R-Ariz.) reported request to have Donald Trump stay away from his funeral is not sitting well with fellow Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah). “I think it’s ridiculous,” the 83-year-old Hatch told Politico on Monday. McCain reportedly wants Vice President Mike Pence to represent the White House instead.  Hatch thinks Trump is getting a bad rap.  “Well, he’s the president of the United States and he’s a very good man,” the senator said of Trump. He conceded that it’s McCain’s call. McCain, 81, was diagnosed with brain cancer last July. “I think John should have his own wishes fulfilled with regard to who attends the funeral,” Hatch said, adding that he hopes McCain changes his mind.

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