Boners

Boner Fight for September 21st, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: I’M GONNA SHOW THAT GYESER WHO IS BOSS

Yellowstone National Park officials have ticketed a man caught on video wandering close to Old Faithful geyser, where he risked burns from the boiling-hot water that erupts every hour or so. The man’s actions between eruptions startled a crowd of a couple hundred people at the park’s most famous attraction. At one point, he lay on the ground near the gurgling hole. “A bunch of the crowd thought he was going to jump. We didn’t know what was going to happen,” said Ashley Lemanski of Harbor Beach, Michigan, who shot the video Friday. The man appeared to urinate on the geyser while a park ranger repeatedly yelled at him to get to safety. Rangers caught up with him after he eventually walked back onto nearby boardwalks, Lemanski said.

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Boner Candidate #2: FROM THE FLIGHT DECK; THIS IS YOUR PILOT, CAPTAIN KNUCKLEHEAD.

Passengers on a flight from hell began bleeding from their noses and ears when a knucklehead pilot “forgot” to flick a switch regulating cabin pressure, a report said. Jet Airways Flight 9W 697 from Mumbai to Jaipur made an about-face shortly after takeoff Thursday when the airplane lost pressure, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported. Video from inside the eerily calm cabin shows the oxygen masks being deployed and passengers slowly putting them on. “Panic situation,” wrote one person.

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