Boners

Boner Fight for September 22nd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS A “VERY DISGUSTING FLUID.”

Visitors to the Detroit Metro Airport found themselves in a sticky situation when they tried to use a soap dispenser and a “bodily fluid” leaked out instead. Crews were working to replace all the dispensers Thursday as officials said an “unusual substance” was found in the soap at several locations, according to WDIV-TV. Cops are not identifying the substance but sources told the network it was “very disgusting.” It is not believed to be saliva.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE TINY TERRORIST

A California kindergartner was suspended for making “terroristic threats” against his school, officials said. Great Valley Academy officials said that the ordeal unfolded when little Jackson Riley was asked to take off his backpack, but the 5-year-old boy refused. The child then told his teacher that a bomb inside would explode if he had to remove the book bag, news station KTXL reported. In response to the Aug. 31 incident, the school asked the parents to pick the boy up from school and suspended him for one day. His parents have slammed the school’s decision as “extreme” and said the incident will be on his permanent record, according to KTXL. The school sent the family a letter claiming that the child “intentionally engaged in harassment, threats or intimidation.”

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