Boners

Boner Fight for September 24th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: TRY MY ABORTION SMOOTHIE.

Jason Miller, a former senior adviser to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, is leaving his post as a political commentator for CNN after reports surfaced that a woman is claiming he dosed her with an abortion pill without her consent. The woman’s accusation was included in a new court filing linked to a child custody battle between Miller and his former lover A.J. Delgado, who also worked on Trump’s campaign, according to a Splinter News report published Friday. Miller, who denied the accusation, announced his departure from CNN in a statement he shared on Twitter. “I have decided to step away from my role … to focus on clearing my name and fighting the false accusations being made against me,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS ALWAYS LICKING MY NECK.

23-year-old Laura Knoblach has come forward with allegations that her father, Minnesota state representative Jim Knoblach, inappropriately touched, kissed, and pinned her down throughout her childhood, from ages nine to 21. Just as MPR News was preparing to break the story on Friday, the outlet reports, Knoblach announced his decision to pull out of his re-election campaign, citing stress that the media attention would put on his family. He denied the allegations in a written statement and called them “indescribably hurtful.”

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