ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I SAY THROW THE BOOK AT ‘EM
Charges were recently dropped against a pair of women who allegedly broke into a man’s house and glitter-bombing him.
Boner Candidate #2: RATHER THAN TRYING TO CURTAIL THIS DANGEROUS BEHAVIOR, THE CITY OF JACKSONVILLE WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT’S NOT THEIR AMBULANCE.
A video Instagram recently went viral by showing an absolute legend doing doughnuts in a Jacksonville ambulance.
Boner Candidate #3: WE HAD TO LIE AND MISLEAD PEOPLE SO THEY COULD SEE THE TRUTH.
An edited video on Twitter showed Governor Spencer Cox sharing his pronouns while he introduced himself in order to shame him in front of the far-right.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WHY DON’T YOU DO SOME GOOD FOR THE PEOPLE OF TEXAS, INSTEAD OF POLITICAL GRANDSTANDING.
Instead of accomplishing anything of value, as per usual, Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed a bill that would charter busses to send immigrants directly to the steps of the US capital.
Boner Candidate #2: IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ROMNEY IT’S HIS PRO-PEDOPHILE VIEWS.
Multiple senators, including Mitt Romney, are being called “Pro-Pedophile” after they announced to vote in Ketanji Brown Jackson as a new Supreme Court Justice.
Boner Candidate #3: HAVING A HUSBAND AND A SUGAR DADDY ON THE SIDE IS AN ALL CONSUMING, FULL TIME JOB YOUR HONOR.
A juror on the Parkland Shooting trail asked to be dismissed because she’s both married and she has a “sugar daddy.”
