Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for August 13, 2020

BONER ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: A DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO DESERVE EACH OTHER

With the advent of dating sites, it has become a little easier to find your love, especially if you have a certain niche.  Take for instance, anti-maskers. Enter “Lockdown Skeptics,” who has a forum for those who are specifically anti-mask, and believe the Coronavirus is a total hoax.  Lockdown Skeptics boasts, “Stay sceptical. End the lockdown. Save lives.” The site was started by British commentator Toby Young, who wanted to introduce a dating forum for “singles who feel the same way about the virus can meet and not have to worry about differing attitudes to social distancing.” Young launched the dating forum in response to a letter he got from someone who wanted to get back on the dating scene but realized “that a key criterion for meeting someone like-minded is that they absolutely must be a lockdown sceptic. If they are pro-mask or pro-antisocial distancing, they will be instantly ‘binned.'”

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Boner Candidate #2: I’M SORRY MA’AM YOU JUST DON’T LEAVE MUCH OF AN IMPRESSION.

Hickman County, TN — A Tennessee woman was left surprised and confused when she received her new driver’s license in the mail and noticed something missing from the photo — herself. Jade Dodd of Hickman County said she renewed her license online, but when the ID card arrived in the mail she quickly noticed it bore a photo of an empty chair where her face should be. Dodd said she visited a Department of Motor Vehicles office to get the error corrected. “The lady at the DMV did not really believe me when I was like ‘hey, I need my license fixed,'” Dodd told WKRN-TV. “Then, she looked it up in the system and goes, ‘Oh, I need my manager for this.'”

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Boner Candidate #3: MAYBE HE THOUGHT OF IT AS SOME KIND OF BIZZARE JOB INTERVIEW

SALT LAKE CITY (KUTV) — A Herriman, Utah man is facing aggravated robbery and assault charges after a bizarre incident at a Salt Lake City Costco involving a sledgehammer and an act of lewdness. According to a probable cause (PC) statement, 39-year-old Jesse Armitage approached an employee who was demolishing a display at the Costco at 1818 S. 300 West. Armitage approached the employee, asking if he needed help demolishing the display. The employee told him that he did not need any help — and that’s when police say Armitage grabbed the employee’s vest and sledgehammer, and began destroying the display himself with the sledgehammer. The employee notified his manager, who repeatedly told Armitage to leave before telling him he was calling 911.

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BONER ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: RUB IT BABY. THAT’S IT. RUB IT HARD.

New footage on social media shows two passengers on an airplane engaging in some unusual behavior. The woman appears to be giving a foot massage to a man seated behind, who has stuck his bare foot up the aisle to reach her. The footage was uploaded to the Instagram account assengerShaming, which shares photos and videos of passengers doing odd or gross things on planes. Since being posted, the video has been viewed over 480,000 times and has received over 3,000 comments. Not surprisingly, most Instagram users did not think this was appropriate behavior for an airplane.

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Boner Candidate #2: I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE WHINING.

The sheriff forbade his deputies from wearing masks while on duty, with some exceptions, and also barred visitors to his offices from wearing them. More states and cities are moving to require face coverings. In Miami Beach, Fla., above, officials have issued more than $14,000 in fines to people who have refused to wear masks.Saul Martinez for The New York Times. When the sheriff in Marion County, Fla, wrote an email to his deputies this week about a new mask order, he expected there would be complaints. “I can already hear the whining,” Sheriff Billy Woods wrote, noting that he did not make the decision “easily.” And at a time when more states and cities are requiring face coverings, Sheriff Woods’s decision was unusual — he forbade his deputies from wearing masks while on duty, with some exceptions, and barred visitors to his offices from wearing them.

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Boner Candidate #3: ERIC TRUMP HANGS WITH THE DIGITAL KEYBOARD WARRIOR.

Donald Trump’s son Eric has ‘liked’ a tweet describing Kamala Harris as being a ‘wh*rendous pick’ for Joe Biden’s running mate. Lori Hendry, who describes herself as a ‘Digital Keyboard Warrior for @realdonaldtrump’ and ‘purveyor of truth’ tweeted the crass commentary on Wednesday evening. She later deleted it, and he reversed his ‘like’ so it no longer showed in his feed. ‘May have misspelled,’ she said, mockingly.

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