Boners

Boner of the Day for February 21st, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS.

A model has claimed she was kicked off Tinder because she’s so attractive that men she matched with thought she was fake. Holly Valentine, 26, lives in LA but often travels around the world with work so decided to join the dating app as a way to meet people while exploring new cities. She signed up for the paid for version of the site, which allows you to see people in anywhere in the world, and uploaded a number of cute snaps. While she often shares saucy photos on her Instagram page, she insists all the photos on her dating profile were “clean” because she’s shy when it comes to dating. But Holly claims that within just a few hours of signing up with was inundated with messages from matches insisting her account was fake. She was soon locked out of the app, and when she tried to redownload it and sign in it wouldn’t work. She said: “I travel a lot so I wanted to date and meet new people when I was traveling and in town, so I bought the most expensive package that they offer that lets you set your location to anywhere. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS THE WRONG HOUSE?

DALLAS — An Irving-based demolition company apologized Thursday for tearing down the wrong home in Dallas. The home at 5532 Richard Avenue in the Vickery Place neighborhood was mistakenly demolished on Wednesday after JR’s Demolition pulled up in front of the wrong house. It was a mistake neighbors around the home known as the “pink house” realized right away.
David Walkington lives a couple of doors over. “We walked over here and took a look at it and it was just shocking,” Walkington said. Jeremy Wenninger bought the home in 2019 after the former owner of the home, a friend of Wenniger’s for several decades, passed away following an illness. “I stood in the kitchen when my friend was dying, two months before she passed [in 2018] and she asked me if I would save her home and not bulldoze it,” Wenninger said. “And I did everything in my power to make that happen and I feel like I’ve just been knocked off my feet.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THAT’S MY BODY COUNT BOARD

A man has been labelled ‘gross, inconsiderate, creepy and an a**hole’ after his roommate shared details of a board he created to keep track of the number of people he has slept with. The roommate says he lives with three of his friends at university, and recently invited a girl he had been talking to round to the flat to study and watch a film. He says he was ‘super excited’ and got the flat ready, which included taking down a board one of the guys he lives with had created. His flatmate ‘thinks it’s funny or cool’ to pin his used condoms on a bulletin board to show off the number of times he has had sex, and leaves it up in the living room for everyone to see. The man says it is ‘really big and really expensive’, complete with sticker decorations alongside the six condoms pinned to it. Writing on Reddit, he says his friend has ignored requests asking him to take it down ‘a million times’, adding: “In his defense, he washes the condoms, cleans, and drys them.” When the man’s date came over, he says he went to wash his hand the board had appeared back on the wall and she was stood in the living room staring at it. “She looked really uncomfortable and she asked me what it was, I got so nervous and choked up,” he said. “I turned bright red and explained what it was to her. Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: I CANT CALL MY FRIENDS.

JACKSON TOWNSHIP, Ohio (CBS Local) — An Ohio woman who “repeatedly” called 911 because her parents cut off her cell phone service is facing a felony charge, according to court documents. Seloni Khetarpal, 36, of Jackson Township, was arrested Feb. 13 after calling the Regional Emergency Dispatch Center after she was told “only call for police assistance for legitimate purposes.” “I feel unsafe,” Khetarpal is heard telling an operator in a 911 call posted by CBS affiliate WOIO. “I’ve been unable to call for help or any of my friends.” Khetarpal was “belligerent” and insisted that it was a legitimate reason to call 911, according to a criminal complaint published by The Smoking Gun. Khetarpal was subsequently arrested and booked into the Stark County jail. She charged with disrupting public services, a fourth-degree felony. She was released Feb. 14 on $2,500 bond and is due in court Feb. 27. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: MAYBE SHE DROVE HIM TO SETTING HER ON FIRE.

(KUTV) — Advocates for victims of domestic violence are angry with Queensland, Australia police after comments regarding a man who murdered his wife and three children by dousing them in gasoline and setting them on fire before stabbing himself to death, according to the Guardian. Under fire are comments about “keeping an open mind” about suggestions that 42-year-old Rowan Baxter may have been “driven too far” when he murdered his wife, 31-year-old Hannah Clarke, and children Aaliyah, 6, Laianah, 4, and Trey, 3. Baxter has a history of domestic violence and was known to police. Hannah and Rowan Baxter and their three children, who were involved in a deadly car fire in the Brisbane suburb of Camp Hill on Wednesday. (Facebook) Clarke doused his wife and kids with gasoline inside of their car in a suburban Brisbane neighborhood. The children died inside the car after it burst into flames while Clarke died less than 24 hours later at a hospital.
Det. Insp. Thompson’s comments aren’t sitting well with Renee Eaves, a victim’s advocate who has worked closely with the department regarding domestic violence situations. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: NEVER LET A PIGEON WEAR A MAGA HAT

A group has released a number of pigeons with MAGA hats glued to their heads in downtown Las Vegas ahead of the Democratic debate and President TrumpDonald John TrumpFed saw risks to US economy fading before coronavirus spread quickened Pro-Trump super PAC hits Biden with new Spanish-language ad in Nevada Britain announces immigration policy barring unskilled migrants MORE’s visit to the city Wednesday. An apparently satirical press release from the group Pigeons United To Interfere Now (PUTIN) claimed that the move was “inspired by the 1970’s Cold War Operation, ‘Tacana’, in which the CIA explored the use of pigeons equipped with tiny cameras to spy on Soviet sites of interest.” “The project was the result of months of exhaustive research, logistical hurdles and pigeon care taking,” read the statement. “The release date was also coordinated to serve as a gesture of support and loyalty to President Trump, who is scheduled to arrive in Las Vegas just ahead of the Democratic Debates, for a speech scheduled at The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department headquarters,” it continued. The group’s members remained anonymous but told the Las Vegas Review-Journal that the demonstration was carried out using eyelash glue, meaning the hats will naturally fall off within a couple of days. One local animal rescue group told The Associated Press that at least one pigeon wearing a hat had later been found dead. Read More

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