ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1: I HAVE MY COW GRADUATION DIPLOMA RIGHT HERE!
Utah congressional candidate Kerry Gibson — a former Weber County commissioner, legislator and state agricultural commissioner — says on his campaign website and literature that he “attended Utah State University where he earned his Dairy Herdsman Degree.” This claim of having earned a college degree also appeared on his official Weber County Commission biography archived online, and in some online biographies last year for conferences where he was a speaker. But during a background check by The Salt Lake Tribune, the USU Registrar’s Office said Gibson never received a degree of any type from the university. It confirmed he was a student there for three semesters in the early 1990s. Gibson says he did not intend to mislead anyone, and that he has a certificate of completion from the short-term dairy herdsman program (which no longer is offered). “I never said I have a four-year degree,” he said. “I specifically said that it’s a ‘dairy herdsman degree’ and that’s exactly what it is.” Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: I SAID, “COURTESY FLUSH”.
An argument over passing gas and a request for a “courtesy flush” after using a jail toilet led to a Florida man beating his cellmate, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Deputies said Gilford Joseph Abshire, 53, was sharing a cell with a 65-year-old man on April 6 when the man got upset with him for passing gas. A few minutes later, around 7:30 a.m., Abshire used their shared toilet and afterward, the victim asked Abshire to provide a “courtesy flush” to help with the overwhelming odor, according to the report. At that point, deputies said Abshire started kicking the victim, who was on the bottom bunk. The man got up but then Abshire grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the cell before deputies came in and detained him, records show. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #3: DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
A federal judge in Florida on Monday shot down an emergency request from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R) and fellow beachfront property owners to be exempted from a public health order that cut off beach access during the pandemic. Huckabee, the father of President Trump’s former White House spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders, argued that a county ordinance blocking him from access to the Gulf of Mexico seafront behind his estimated $3.3 million home violated his constitutional rights. U.S. District Court Judge Roger Vinson on Monday denied the request from Huckabee and more than a dozen other plaintiffs for an injunction against Walton County, Fla., and the local sheriff. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) on April 1 put in place a 30-day stay-at-home order for the state, but did not close beaches. The next day, Walton County passed an ordinance that closed off beach access and made violators subject to criminal penalty until April 30. Read More
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1: MASK SCAM
As state governments and hospitals have scrambled to obtain masks and other medical supplies during the coronavirus pandemic, scammers attempted to sell a fake stockpile of 39 million masks to a California labour union. The Los Angeles Times first reported on Sunday that the FBI had uncovered the scam, which has been traced back to a broker in Australia and a supplier in Kuwait. The investigators discovered the scam because they were looking into whether the supply could be intercepted by the federal government through the Defense Production Act. The Service Employees International Union-United Healthcare Workers West (known as SEIU) promised at the end of March that it would make the millions of masks available, as government agencies and hospitals planned to purchase some of the supply. But as the FBI investigated, it became apparent that the union had been duped, although no financial transaction had yet been made. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE YOUR POOP OUTSIDE OF THE RESTROOM
A news release today from the Coronado National Forest encouraging visitors to avoid crowded areas, included this disturbing imagery: “do not deposit your solid wastes outside or surrounding the restrooms.” “If necessary, bury human waste at least six to eight inches deep and 200 feet away from water, trails and recreation sites to prevent health hazards to our employees and for other visitors,” the news release continues. Visitors are encouraged to make a pit stop before heading into the forest or after they leave. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #3: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? COMIN’ INTO THE WAWA LIKE THAT.
A 70-year-old Toms River, N.J., man was arrested twice in less than three hours Saturday after violating the state’s emergency orders during the coronavirus pandemic by entering separate Wawa stores without a mask and threatening to hit people with a pipe, authorities said. Stephen Breza became belligerent when he walked into a Wawa on the 100 block of Route 37 east in Toms River at around 11 a.m. and was told he needed to have his face covered, the New Jersey Office of the Attorney General said Monday. Breza then started screaming and cursing at employees before threatening to hit another customer with a pipe, according to Toms River police. He screamed at the responding officers and resisted arrest prior to being taken into custody, officials said. Read More
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