ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: KYLE RITTENHOUSE AND HIS DELIGHTFUL SENSE OF HUMOR.
Kyle Rittenhouse recently posted a shopped video of his infamous crying face and an arm holding a gas pump, making a comment that Joe Biden is responsible for high gas prices.
Boner Candidate #2: JESUS IN THE CLOSET.
Rachel Hamm, a Republican from California running for Secretary of State, said that she is running for office because Jesus spoke to her son in a closet.
Boner Candidate #3: IT IS INCREDIBLE THAT THIS KIND OF BLATANT RACISM STILL EXISTS.
A drill team from Texas, the “Indianettes”, recently performed at Disney World while dancing and chanting “I-N-D-I-A-N-S, scalp ’em, Indians, scalp ’em!”.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WE CAN’T KEEP THIS DAMN DOG…HE’S GAY.
A North Carolina dog named Fezco was abandoned at a shelter by his new owners because they thought he was gay after they saw him humping another male dog.
Boner Candidate #2: HE HAD A WHAT IN HIS WHERE?
A man in Indiana required a 7 hour surgery and 780 stitches after he was brought to the hospital with a live chicken’s head stuck in his rectum.
Boner Candidate #3: DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS ONLY A TV SHOW.
Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams president of United Earth by Star Trek after she revealed her love for the show in 2019. Conservative website, National Review, believes that Abrams did not deserve the honor to be “President of Earth”- forgetting that Star Trek is just a TV show.
