Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for October 14th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: THESE DRUNKS WILL RUN OVER MY CHILDREN; EXCEPT FOR SERGEI.

Sergei Waybourn, the son of Tarrant County Sheriff Bill E. Waybourn, was arrested Oct. 11 on an indecent exposure charge.(Tarrant County Jail). The son of Tarrant County Sheriff Bill Waybourn was arrested Friday on charges of public intoxication and indecent exposure, jail records show. Arlington police arrested Sergei Waybourn near AT&T Stadium, just a few days after the sheriff sparked controversy with comments he made at the White House about some of Tarrant County’s jailed unauthorized immigrants. Bill Waybourn was at a Washington, D.C., event Thursday opposing a judge’s decision to end the use of unreliable databases when U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement requests local law enforcement hold someone facing possible deportation. Read More 

 

Boner Candidate #2: TRUMP MURDERS THE MEDIA.

A video depicting a macabre scene of a fake President Trump shooting, stabbing and brutally assaulting members of the news media and his political opponents was shown at a conference for his supporters at his Miami resort last week, according to footage obtained by The New York Times. Several of Mr. Trump’s top surrogates — including his son Donald Trump Jr., his former spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis — were scheduled to speak at the three-day conference, which was held by a pro-Trump group, American Priority, at Trump National Doral Miami. Ms. Sanders and a person close to Mr. Trump’s son said on Sunday that they did not see the video at the conference. The video, which includes the logo for Mr. Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign, comprises a series of internet memes. The most violent clip shows Mr. Trump’s head superimposed on the body of a man opening fire inside the “Church of Fake News” on parishioners who have the faces of his critics or the logos of media organizations superimposed on their bodies. It appears to be an edited scene of a church massacre from the 2014 dark comedy film “Kingsman: The Secret Service.” Read More 

 

Boner Candidate #3: SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO FEEL PRETTY.

It was an unusual wake up call, to say the least. A resident in the Cresleigh El Dorado neighborhood in El Dorado Hills woke up Saturday morning to find a man in his house — wearing nothing but a bra and panties. When the man, who was rummaging through the resident’s things, was confronted, he ran out of the house and hopped the fences of several neighbors, according to a El Dorado Sheriff’s Office Facebook post. The man is a known parolee who was booked on charges of burglary, prowling and trespassing, the sheriff’s office reported. The man’s name has not been released as of Saturday morning. Naked intruder cases have cropped up in recent weeks. Last month, a Sacramento man in Chico stole multiple items before apparently lying naked on the floor naked next to the victim’s bed. And last week in Folsom, a man climbed into the backyard of a family’s home and after trying to enter the house, stripped naked and used the property’s hot tub for half an hour. A suspect has not been identified in that case. Read More

 

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: HUGH JANUS. WHAT’S WRONG WITH…..OH.

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Boner Candidate #2: OUR DREAMS HAVE TURNED TO TRASH.

As Jeff and Abbey Rodamaker began tearing out trees in their newly purchased land near Gulf Breeze to make way for their future dream home, the couple heard an unexpected clinking sound as each tree fell. The roots had pulled up numerous glass bottles and other trash, such as plastic containers, a propane tank and tires that had been buried a few feet underground. The seemingly endless garbage was hidden by dirt, brush and trees. As the Rodamakers began digging more around the property, they realized it had once been used as a landfill, with an unknown amount of trash buried across its 6.43 acres.  “I was never able to really establish a bottom,” Jeff Rodamaker said, even finding a clear glass bottle with the words “dispose properly” scrawled across it. “Basically seeing it as deep as it was, I gave up because it’s past trying to clean up.”Read More

Boner Candidate #3: I WILL KEEP CALLING UNTIL THEY DO SOMETHING.

There are many reasons for calling 911: Your weed getting stolen might not be one of them. Pasco County Sheriff’s Office Deputy N. Zalva participated in the agency’s tweet-a-long, giving a bit of a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a deputy, Saturday night when he was told to respond to a particular call. “The guy’s calling in, saying his roommate stole his weed — $20 worth,” Zalva said. “And he’s upset, so he keeps calling 911. So I’ve got to give him a call to tell him to stop calling about his weed.”
Medical marijuana is legal in Florida under certain conditions, recreational is not. Zalva gave the guy a bit of advice. “I called him to let him know not to call the sheriff’s office to report his drugs,” Zalva said. “He started to freak out a little on the phone, and then hung up on me shortly after.” Read More

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