Boners

Boner of The Day for October 19th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: GET THAT COVID OUT OF THE WAY

Boner Candidate #2: I READ A LOT AND SOME OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS ARE DOCTORS

In the latest episode of Eric Bolling’s show from the Sinclair Broadcast Group, “America This Week,” the conservative broadcaster perpetuated misinformation about the origin of the coronavirus pandemic and measures that help slow its spread. In the episode, which was posted to several Sinclair station websites this week, Mr. Bolling made claims, which scientists have widely disputed, that the coronavirus was manipulated in a Chinese laboratory. He also questioned the effectiveness of face coverings and lockdowns, despite evidence that they are instrumental in limiting transmissions. “It’s damn near certain this virus has to have been altered in a Chinese lab,” Mr. Bolling said in his monologue. “No way this is your routine ‘guy and girlfriend chow down on an uncooked bat turned into a virus.’” Mr. Bolling, a former Fox News host, also said that “closing down cities and economies and wearing your tube socks around your face hasn’t slowed the virus down.” In an interview on Friday, after the liberal media watchdog group Media Matters for America raised concerns about the episode, Mr. Bolling said the segment was being edited to remove some of his statements before airing this weekend on dozens of Sinclair stations. Sinclair, which is known for its conservative stances, owns or operates nearly 200 television stations across the country and reaches 39 percent of American households.

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Boner Candidate #3: A FOOT THROUGH THE CEILING… THAT’S WHAT ALERTED THE EMPLOYEES

A man who had been living in the rafters of Raley’s in Fernley was arrested on Sept. 30 after employees noticed he had fallen through the ceiling, according to the Lyon County Sheriff’s Office. Matthew Hammar, 35, was arrested and charged with burglary and obstructing a police officer after night shift employees at the grocery store found him while the store was closed. “The day we apprehended this person, the reason they noticed him was because when he made it through the roof of the building and into the ceiling area of the grocery store, his foot went through the ceiling,” said Johnny Smith, captain of patrol for the Lyon County Sheriff’s Office. “…He took a bad step and one of his feet went through the ceiling, exposing his foot to where people could see it and that’s what alerted the employees.” Investigators discovered that Hammar had been using an exterior ladder outside of the building to climb up onto the roof and then down into the rafters of the store for at least a week before being found. Smith also confirmed that Hammar had been stealing from the deli at the store and had set up a makeshift living area for himself.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: NASTINESS IN AUTUMN RIDGE

SANDY, Utah (ABC4 News) – A Sandy neighborhood is going viral for its support of the LGBTQ Community. It’s after several residents who live in the Autumn Ridge Drive community received an anonymous letter asking them to rethink flying Pride flags. “Statistically, we knew there had to be at least one LGBTQ teen in our neighborhood,” said Kristy Donahoo, an Autumn Ridge Drive resident. “Utah’s our home, and to have a high suicide rate among teens. I know there was a child in my son’s high school that committed suicide, and it’s tough.” The Donahoos, Kristy and her husband Willy, spearheaded a movement in 2019 to make their neighborhood a place of inclusion no matter a person’s background, sexual orientation or who they love. This year they continued their efforts. “For the week before National Coming Out Day, let’s celebrate Pride Week and put flags up,” said Mr. Donahoo. So in support of October 11th, 80 flags, 20 more than last year and 55 love signs went up. A matter of days later, an anonymous letter found its way to mailboxes throughout the neighborhood. The secret sender asking supporters if flying Pride flags was “consistent” with the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In an excerpt of the letter the sender goes on writing: “Ask yourself, do I demonstrate the values of the church and do I honor the covenants that I made to follow the teachings of the church and Christ? Take notice of the ward members who did not agree to have flags placed in their yards, including our Bishop and his Counselors who are setting the example that we all should follow.”

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Boner Candidate #2: IS THAT MISS, MRS. OR MS.?

St. Petersburg, FL — A Florida Woman arrested for trespassing was hit with a second criminal charge when, after being asked to identify herself, she repeatedly told cops that her name was “My butt just farted,” records show. Melinda Lynn Guerrero, 33, was collared Wednesday evening after refusing to leave a Mobil gas station in St. Petersburg. Following her arrest, Guerrero refused to provide her name to police, according to a criminal complaint. Cops asked “multiple times,” but “defendant repeatedly said, ‘My name is my butt just farted.” Officers subsequently identified Guerrero as the accused trespasser–likely due to the fact that her photo and fingerprints are on file in connection with a series of arrests over the past several years. Also, she has “Guerrero” tattooed on her back. Police noted that Guerrero may have been under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Charged with trespassing and providing a false name to law enforcement, both misdemeanors, Guerrero was released yesterday afternoon from the county jail on her own recognizance.

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Boner Candidate #3: AND THERE WAS A MYSTERIOUS COIN ON IT

TOOELE, Utah — Employees at a Maverik in Tooele are hoping to find the owners of an urn left in the store last month. Manager Ellie Davidson said an employee found a cardboard box labeled “TACK LIFE” in one of the bathrooms. At first, they didn’t open it and set it aside to wait for whoever left it behind to come back and claim it. Eventually, they opened it and found some unexpected contents. Inside the cardboard box, they found a wooden box. Inside that, they found an urn with ashes inside. Neither the boxes nor the urn had any indication of whom they belonged to. However, the unique design of the urn may be familiar to someone. It has a bald eagle design on top of a red and white striped background, along with blue and gold trim. On the bottom of the urn is a design like a U.S. quarter, with “LIBERTY” and “IN GOD WE TRUST” engraved on the coin-like design. However, instead of President George Washington, it has what appears to be the profile of another man’s face. Davidson said she has posted the photos on Facebook, including in a community group, but still no one has claimed it. She doesn’t know if the remains inside belong to a person or a pet, but she says she doesn’t believe anyone would leave something like it behind on purpose and just wants to reunite it with its owner. Anyone who recognizes the urn can call the store at 435-882-0407 or text Davidson at 435-841-2096.

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