Boners

Boner of the Day for October 1st, 2019

ROUND 1:

BONER CANDIDATE #1: MMMM, DELICIOUS TOAD VENOM

Sitting cross-legged on a blanket in his Soho apartment, Barrett Pall inhaled toad-venom smoke through a glass stem pipe. Thirty seconds later, he was crying. “I was crying really hard, yelling ‘I’m so sorry’ over and over,” Pall recalled to The Post of his first time experimenting with the illegal psychedelic drug last year. (He’s since tried it twice more.) “I saw my younger self with my parents and ex-boyfriends in places [where] I’d been hurt.” The ­social-media influencer and life coach said the experience concluded after 45 minutes of “shooting through the universe” and “being reborn.” Despite the trip’s short duration, the effects of toad venom — which is extracted from Colorado River toads, also known as Sonoran Desert toads — come on strongly and immediately. It leaves users immobile and unaware, and can cause extreme emotional reactions, euphoria and vomiting, according to drug researchers and users. It’s also the hot mind-altering drug du jour among well-off New Yorkers, following the trendy trips of ayahuasca, mushrooms and mescaline. One user described toad venom to The Post as “a total fusion with God.” “It’s such an intense experience that, in most cases, doing it at a party isn’t safe,” said Alan K. ­Davis, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor at the Psychedelic Research Unit at Johns Hopkins University. “It’s not a recreational drug.” But that hasn’t stopped psychedelic-drug lovers in New York City from seeking out the Schedule 1 classified substance, which carries the threat of a 10-year prison sentence for possession.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE#2: WRONG INJECTION

More than a dozen students were sent to area hospitals after being given the wrong shot at a Lawrence Township school Monday. The school district said 16 students were undergoing a TB screening at McKenzie Center for Innovation and Technology when medical personnel from Community Health Network administered a small dosage of insulin instead. The students were taken to area hospitals for observation, according to the school district, and were accompanied by McKenzie staff and school personnel. Parents have been notified. Lucille Knowles says her daughter was one of the students who was mistakenly given the insulin dose. She says her daughter texted her several pictures of a red bump on her arm around 9:40 a.m. Her daughter said she was becoming cold and shaky. “She’s scared, she really is,” Knowles said. “And I was too.” Doctors say a non-diabetic person who is given a dose of insulin can become hypoglycemic, where the blood sugar drops abnormally. “The worst case would be people can get shaky, sweaty, they can pass out, they can have seizures. And sometimes, if it got really low, it could be serious,” said President of Community Physician Network John Kunzer. Kowles said her daughter was taken to Community East for five hours of blood sugar testing and observation.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: YOUR HONOR, HASN’T MY CLIENT SUFFERED ENOUGH?

R. Kelly’s attorney filed a motion arguing for a release on bond in which he bemoaned the singer’s visitation privileges that allow him to visit with only one of his girlfriends at a time. Kelly has been held in a Chicago area jail since July on federal sex crimes charges. He also faces charges in New York on racketeering, kidnapping, forced labor and sexual exploitation of a child. Kelly pleaded not guilty to the federal charges in August. Allegations of sexual misconduct by the singer go back nearly 30 years. The motion, filed by attorney Steven Greenberg in US District Court in New York Monday, complains that the singer is only allowed one unrelated person to visit. “His visits are severely restricted; presently, he is only allowed one unrelated person to visit. In other words, although he lives and has lived with two lady friends, only one of them is allowed to be on his visiting list, and after 90 days he is required to switch,” Greenberg says in the motion. “No other friends or professional colleagues are allowed to visit. That is not right.” Read More

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ROUND 2:

BONER CANDIDATE #1: OH COME ON….LET’S HAVE THE DIRTBAG FIGHT. PLEASE.

Looks like the Bagel Guy pulled a fast one on folks hoping he’d get in the ring with Dustin Diamond — aka Screech — ’cause he just announced he’s not fighting the guy. Chris Morgan took to Twitter Saturday night to laugh in fans’ faces as he pulled out of the celeb boxing event in Jersey that he and others had been hyping up for weeks now. In a bizarre video he posted, Chris says … “I fooled you all! I ain’t coming to the fight!” He went on to say that the best way to NOT get hit is to not be there, and then continued to mock everyone who paid to see him duke it out with Screech. Chris didn’t make it immediately clear why he canceled last-minute, but in two videos he’d gone live with prior to the boxing match — in which he’s sitting alone in his car and arguing with fans who engage him — he alluded to not wanting to be a laughing stock.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: SHE IS, HOW YOU SAY? UGLY

Leading French academics have been criticised for complaining 16-year-old climate campaigner Greta Thunberg is not sexy enough. Bernard Pivot, 84, president of the Goncourt Academy — which awards France’s top literary prize — was branded a ‘fat misogynist pig’ after comparing the teenager to the Swedish girls he pursued in his youth. ‘In my generation, boys would run after les petites Suédoises, they had a reputation for being less stuck-up than French girls,’ he tweeted. ‘But I can imagine adolescent me being scared stiff of Greta Thunberg.’ Fellow intellectual, philosopher Michel Onfray, 60, said Ms Thunberg ‘makes you think of those silicon dolls heralding the end of humanity’. He added: ‘She has the face, age, sex and body of a cyborg of the third millennium, her envelope is neutral, she is, alas, where mankind is heading.’   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: TAKE A HIKE VONTAZE

Oakland Raiders linebacker Vontaze Burfict has been suspended for the rest of the 2019 season for his helmet-to-helmet hit Sunday on Indianapolis Colts tight end Jack Doyle, the league announced. Burfict was ejected in the second quarter of the Raiders’ 31-24 win. He was initially flagged for hitting Doyle in the head across the middle. But after the officials conferred, Burfict was thrown out. The league said that Burfict will be not be paid during the suspension, which covers the postseason as well. The league cited his repeated violations of unnecessary roughness rules in handing out the longest suspension ever for an on-field incident. NFL vice president of football operations Jon Runyan wrote a letter to Burfict explaining the decision.

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