Boners

Boner of the Day for October 1st, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: OFF TO SCHOOL WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE GERM FACTORY

Kirsten Johnson, director of the Washington-Ozaukee Public Health Department, said this week there have been multiple cases of parents lying about their child being infected with the virus, news station WISN reported. “Something that happened and continued to happen, but happened on the first day of school, which I never in my wildest dreams imagined it would happen, is people sent their known positive kids to school,” Johnson said. She said parents are also neglecting to get symptomatic children tested for the virus. “What’s also happening, again not in my wildest dreams thought this would happen, is kids become symptomatic, and parents are refusing to test them because they don’t want to quarantine their siblings,” she said. In the two counties, there are more than two dozen schools where there’s at least one student or staffer positive for the virus, according to figures from the health department’s tracker. Washington County board chairman Don Kriefall said he’s concerned that such behavior will force schools to be shut down. “We’re not going to be able to keep our schools open … just a few parents that are irresponsible are going to affect the entire school district,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO DIE.

As she lay dying in a Joliette, Que., hospital bed, an Atikamekw woman clicked her phone on and broadcast a Facebook Live video appearing to show her being insulted and sworn at by hospital staff. Joyce Echaquan’s death on Monday prompted an immediate outcry from her home community of Manawan, about 250 kilometres north of Montreal, and has spurred unusually quick and decisive action on the part of the provincial government. The mother of seven’s death will be the subject of a coroner’s inquiry and an administrative probe, the Quebec government said today. And a nurse who was involved in her treatment has been dismissed. But that dismissal doesn’t ease the pain of Echaquan’s husband, Carol Dubé, whose voice trembled with emotion as he told Radio-Canada his wife went to the hospital with a stomach ache on Saturday and “two days later, she died.” Echaquan’s relatives told Radio-Canada she had a history of heart problems and felt she was being given too much morphine. In the video viewed by CBC News, the 37-year-old is heard screaming in distress and repeatedly calling for help. Eventually, her video picks up the voices of staff members. One hospital staff member tells her, “You’re stupid as hell.” Another is heard saying Echaquan made bad life choices and asking her what her children would say if they saw her in that state. Dubé said it’s clear hospital staff were degrading his wife and he doesn’t understand how something like this could happen in 2020.

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Boner Candidate #3: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT IT ON THE PIG.

WYCKOFF, NJ — Seven teenagers are facing charges in connection to a break-in at a popular New Jersey farm. The teens are accused of breaking into Abma’s Farm in Wyckoff on Aug. 22 and abusing its animals. One girl allegedly rode a miniature donkey, and a miniature pony was found with lipstick on its face. Two people were also caught trying to steal items at the market. On Tuesday, the Wyckoff Police Department announced charges against three 17-year-old boys from Wyckoff, an 18-year-old man from Wyckoff and three 17-year-old girls from Oradell. The seven individuals are being charged with trespassing, criminal mischief and overloading animals.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: HE DESERVED IT AND THAT’S THE NEWS

A South Carolina TV news anchor smashed a beer bottle over a man’s head during a heated spat about politics, police said. Kamie Jo Roesler, a 28-year-old morning news anchor for WIS-TV in Columbia, got into an argument with the 32-year-old victim while sitting outside Sunday in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, the Argus Leader reported. “We had a few people that were there and two of them began arguing,” police spokesman Sam Clemens told reporters Monday. “They know each other; they’re not in any type of relationship. The victim said that it was some type of political argument.” Roesler allegedly grabbed a beer bottle and swung it at the man, cracking him in the head. The victim, from Colton, South Dakota, refused medical attention at the scene for a cut to his face, saying he would see his own doctor for his injuries. But it “looked like he was probably” going to need stitches after the assault, Clemens said. Roesler was arrested on a charge of aggravated assault. The victim didn’t provide any other details about the argument, Clemens said. Roesler, who joined the South Carolina station last September, is originally from North Dakota. She previously worked for KSFY-TV in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, WIS-TV reported.

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Boner Candidate #2: SO, SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A MANDATE

PROVO, Utah — As the Utah Valley sees a spike in cases of COVID-19, Provo city is teaming up with college students in an effort to slow the spread. The ‘Join the Maskerade’ campaign is an initiative designed by college students to connect with college students. “I always say, I am not a cool kid. My kids tell me, stop talking to me about masks mom,” said Provo mayor Michelle Kaufusi. “People don’t want to hear me. The students want to hear from their peers.” The campaign is being led by Brigham Young University’s ‘Y Digital Agency.’ “We think this will speak a very different language to people who have been told, wear a mask or else. We are going to change that. Wear a mask and we’ll reward you,” explained Adam Durfee, with Y Digital Agency. People will be encouraged to go to the ‘Join the Maskerade’ website and pledge to wear a face covering while in public. Those who sign the pledge will be entered to win weekly prizes including gift cards and cash. “Our goal is to see a decline,” Kaufusi said. To drum up interest in the campaign, Kaufusi and others spent Wednesday evening placing masks on trees and various landmarks around the city. BYU students who gave their time to participate, hope the message resonates and prevents more drastic measures from being taken in response to the spike in cases. “As cases increase, we are more careful with our masks because we want to hold on to this little amount of college experience that we have and safeguard it,” said Aubree Smith, a BYU senior.

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Boner Candidate #3: DOING THE LORDS WORK

A child abuse investigation involving a pastor in central Arkansas led to drug charges after police discovered he was using meth at church with his parishioners, according to court filings. Lloyd Eddie Lasker Jr., 49, was charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a gun by a convicted felon after police found him at a gas station in Mayflower on Sept. 22 with meth, the Conway Police Department said in an affidavit filed in Faulkner County Circuit Court. Mayflower is a town of less than 2,000 people about 30 minutes north of Little Rock, according to the latest U.S. Census records. The House of Refuge and Deliverance Ministries church, where Lasker is the pastor, is on a rural stretch of highway within the town’s city limits. Conway Police Detective Brittani Little was called to the church on Sept. 18 for a welfare check, an affidavit for a search warrant states. Little said she found an emaciated 21-month-old child “with multiple bruises from head to toe,” his mother and Lasker at the church. The child is now in the ICU “with a brain bleed and extreme malnourishment,” according to Little’s affidavit. Four days later, Little and Lt. Andrew Burningham of the Conway Police Department went in search of Lasker to ask him some questions about the child abuse case, a second affidavit supporting Lasker’s arrest states.

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