Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for December 13, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: DISCOUNT DENTISTRY

It’s a real-life case of pulp fiction. Phony dentist Robert “Robbie” Rheinlander lied through his teeth when he extracted 10 pearly whites without a license — or anesthetic, according to the Bradenton Herald of Florida. He claimed he had been a dentist in South Carolina before moving to Palmetto, Fla., where he took root and continued the lie, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office. Rheinlander offered to perform his services out of his house or at patients’ homes — to help save them money, officials said.

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Boner Candidate #2: YEAH. WHO SAYS I CAN’T PARK HERE?

A man who tried to claim a parking spot outside the Hells Angels’ East Village headquarters sparked a brawl that ended with him being shot in the stomach early Sunday, police sources said. David Martinez, 25, moved an orange traffic cone placed outside the notorious biker group’s E. 3rd St. clubhouse near First Ave. at about 1:20 a.m., police sources said. Someone came out to challenge him, and the argument turned into an “all-out brawl,” police sources said. Someone then shot Martinez in the stomach. His buddies loaded him into their Mercedes-Benz and drove him to Bellevue Hospital, where he’s expected to survive, cops sources said.

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Boner Candidate #3: TURNOVERS WITH A SPOON FULL OF SOMETHING EXTRA.

Three Omaha high school students accused of adding their semen to pastry icing in a home economics class are facing disciplinary actions. Omaha Police said the students, ages 14 and 15, were making the turnovers at Westside High School on Thursday. Investigators said the students went to the bathroom during class, masturbated into containers and then mixed the fluid into the frosting when they returned to class, according to the Omaha World-Herald.

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Boner Candidate #4: OKAY SHE’S MORALLY INNOCENT….THROW HER IN PRISON.

The lawyer for a Calgary woman who treated her son with holistic remedies before he died of a strep infection says his client was a good mother and is “morally innocent.” Tamara Lovett, who is 47, is accused of failing to provide the necessaries of life and with criminal negligence causing death. Her seven-year-old son, Ryan Alexander Lovett, died in March 2013 after getting an infection that kept him bedridden for 10 days.

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Boner Candidate #5: I’VE GOT SOME AD SPACE FOR SALE HERE.

A New Zealand beauty wants to improve her bottom line — by auctioning off tattooed ad space on her backside. Bailey Price — a self-confessed “public mooner” and surf-shop worker from Wellington — said she’s floating the offer so she can get “out of debt,” The Sun of the UK reported. “I’m a pretty wild girl, so most people who know me wouldn’t be surprised that I’m offering the winner of this auction to have anything tattooed on my butt,” Price wrote on her Trade Me listing.

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