Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for January 27th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: MAKE THEM FRIES EXTRA CRISPY WOULD YA?

A couple of fast-food employees in New Hampshire are now facing charges after they were busted for selling weed out of the drive-thru of their local Burger King, Seacoast Online reports. The two masterminds, Garrett “Nasty Boy” Norris, 20, and his alleged accomplice Meagan Dearborn, 19, were apparently selling marijuana to customers who came to the establishment and specifically asked for “extra crispy fries.”

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Boner Candidate #2: WHY NOT STAND BY YOUR REMARKS REPRESENTATIVE PETERSON?

An Ogden state representative drew criticism after making light of Monday’s Women’s March on the Utah State Capitol in a now-deleted post on his blog.  Rep. Jeremy Peterson, R-Ogden, called the action, which drew an estimated 6,000 participants on a snowy day to the capitol, “The Potpourri Passion Protest” in a blog post that he later removed. “I am sure this won’t be the last protest we see at the Capitol before the Legislature finishes its work in March,” Peterson wrote. “Lets (sic) hope the next one features symbols other than crudely named knit-caps.”

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Boner Candidate #3: THE SCUM OF THE EARTH AT WORK.

Esteemed Covina police K-9 Jarno was expected to make a full recovery after he was bit in the stomach by a stray dog. Robert Kovacik reports for the NBC4 News at 11 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 26, 2017. A birthday trip to Disneyland for a girl with cerebral palsy is now in jeopardy because someone stole the family van carrying oxygen tanks and other important equipment in Wilmington, the family said Wednesday. The girl’s family was pleading with the public for the equipment to be returned after it was taken from right in front of the family’s Los Angeles home. Cristina Shaw depends on her oxygen tanks, suctioning equipment, wheelchair and special car seat — all of which were stolen along with the van.

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Boner Candidate #4: BECAUSE I SMOKE IT. DON’T I LOOK LIKE IT?

When Horace Brown was asked why he tried to hit Martin County Sheriff’s deputies with his car Tuesday, he said he didn’t know authorities were arresting him. “I didn’t know that was the police. I had no intentions of hitting them,” Brown told reporters as he was escorted into the sheriff’s office Thursday afternoon. “I didn’t try to hit him. I didn’t know that was police. Where I’m from you get robbed by white men too. It ain’t no color in robbery.” Brown, 23, was released from Lawnwood Regional Medical Center in Fort Pierce and taken into custody Thursday. He still had two bullets inside him after doctors decided not to remove them, a sheriff’s spokeswoman said. Brown was shot once in the back shoulder and once in the neck, spokeswoman Christine Weiss said. “I feel terrible,” Brown said in a video provided by the sheriff’s office.

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Boner Candidate #5: COACH MABONE LIED TO US.

Coach MaBone had big problems. He had cancer, the kids at Wilkinson Middle School were told. And a broken-down car that he couldn’t afford to fix.’ The kids loved Kevin MaBone, the new assistant basketball coach who always came in early and stayed late. So last Friday, they surprised him outside the Texas school. There were cheerleaders and TV cameras and a big banner: “We (heart) you Coach MaBone.” And a donated car, lightly used, just for him.

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Boner Candidate #6: EXCUSE ME, SHERIFF, I’D LIKE TO CHECK IF THIS TRUCK WAS STOLEN BY ANYONE.

A woman is in jail after she reportedly stole a truck in Jonesboro, drove it to the Sebastian County Sheriff’s Office and asked if it was reported stolen, according to an arrest report. Adriana Salas, 26, was arrested late Tuesday (Jan. 24) on suspicion of felony theft by receiving of more than $5,000, according to the Sheriff’s Office. The arrest report states Salas showed up at the Sheriff’s Office and asked dispatchers if the truck she was driving was stolen. A deputy arrived to speak with Salas, ran the truck information in a crime database and found it was reported stolen out of Jonesboro, according to the report.

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